Part I: Patience

Bend Baby Hurricane: Notes From The Outside

By Kelley Moen, 7-15-08

Charlie and Kelley.

“Ah-boo,” I whisper through a sweet exhale over my four-month-old son, Charlie.  He stretches relaxed across my belly for his mid-morning nap. It’s a respite from the chaotic storm of his wakeful hours. His soft breathing, the barely visible rise and fall, reassures me that “Yes, I am still alive, mommy.  Don’t hover over me and don’t worry, I can breathe.”

The past four months with a newborn at home has been a whirlwind - no a complete hurricane - of breastfeeding, napping, diaper changing, sleep-walking days and sleep-forgotten nights simply keeping my little boy alive with the basic necessities of living.  If these past months were a movie, the soundtrack to this hurricane-inflicted story would be a complete cacophony. It would be ZZ Top and ACDC fighting it out with interludes of Mozart, Jack Johnson and John Denver in between.

I’ve never in my life done more rocking, feeding, changing, cleaning, cooing, soothing, dancing and “Ah-boo”-ing to this tiny creature that seems to need me with no end.  It’s sleep-walking. It’s sleep-talking.  It’s sleep tick-tocking. 

I’m obsessed with sleep in the midst of this wind tunnel of new parenting.  I’ve learned of Bend’s childbirth classes and lactation counselors, Bend’s doulas and Bend’s doctors, poop and drool and laundry.  I’ve learned of swaddling, swaying, swinging, shushing and side-lying.(http://www.thehappiestbaby.com) I’ve learned of the ear-piercing, teacup-chattering screams for food or for mommy’s arms or for whatever the heck is on Charlie’s mind at the moment. 

Experts say that the first words and sounds babies make are simple vowels like “ahhs” and “oos.” From there they progress to the more complicated consonant sounds of p’s, b’s, t’s, d’s and m’s.  Then, according to the baby “calendar” and the new parents’ bible “What to Expect the First Year,” babies experiment by stringing these sounds together.  “Ah-boo” is supposed to be one of the first so-called “experiment” sounds.  Thus far, I’m the only one saying it in our house.

I look down at his small body, his perfect uncurling ears, his doughball soft cheeks, his beautiful pouty-pink lips that he inherited from his daddy and his smoothed forehead, where the calm of sleep has replaced the “thinking man’s brow” usually planted there like a row of corn during his wakeful hours. Now, after four months with this new addition to our family, I’m finally able to think a bit more clearly and see through this baby hurricane. 

Maybe today will be the day he says “Mama.” Maybe today he will roll over.  And maybe today will be the day he offers a spontaneous belly-busting giggle without the prompting of my smile.  I know the books and professionals say these things happen on a “schedule,” but I just can’t help but think, “Charlie has never ready any of that stuff!”

So, as my little son stirs on my belly, his papery eyelids fluttering in attempt to wake again for another feed that will throw me back into the baby hurricane that I signed up for, I really do believe an “Ah-boo”, or even and “Ah”, from Charlie would be just enough for today.

Kelley Moen, who lives and plays in Bend, Oregon, has a degree from the University of Montana School of Journalism and a certificate to teach secondary education, and most recently has become a mommy to her son, Charlie.  If she’s not changing diapers or singing nursery rhymes, you might find her trail running, swimming at Juniper Swim Center or fly fishing with her husband, Todd.

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