Column: Making it in Missoula

On “Vacation Mode” in Missoula, Shoving Inhibitions Under the Rug

By Big Sis, 3-07-07

I’m back in town and back in action.  Ah, the Mexican vacation.  I found sun, sea, solitude, serious relaxation, and some new friends.  Yup, even a few of the male variety.  I remembered why it’s FUN to be single.

So, why, suddenly, did not just one but two men fall into my lap after only a week in Mexico when I haven’t had a date in Missoula since, oh, the very first snowfall?  My extremely scientific hypothesis is: because I was “on vacation.”

I’d like to suggest that vacations give us the excuse to shove our inhibitions under the rug.  The real reason why I found some fun in the sun with single men is because I left my hang-ups at home.  Plus, I left behind all the people who know about my hang-ups, and who may hold me accountable for bad decisions after the tequila fades.

Tipsy skinny-dipping, one-night-stands, jumping off cliffs, and talking to strangers on rickety buses—all deviations from my normal behavior while I was in Mexico were explained away with a shrug, a smirk, and the universal explanation: “I’m on vacation.”

Vacation gives us license to avoid our personal rules, and to stretch (or erase) our customary boundaries.  We can be whomever we desire.  We can do whatever we want. 

When I go places like Mexico—or, hell, even just over to Idaho—my boundaries fade to a pleasant grey.  It’s like there’s a dimmer switch on the usual qualms and nagging conscience.  Everything boils down to what feels best in that moment while “on vacation.”

My second extremely scientific hypothesis is this: the occasional “on vacation” mode is mandatory for long-term health.  Without an excuse to leave a few inhibitions under the rug, people become bottled up and pruned (scientifically speaking).  Yuck.

This leads me to my third (and most relevant) hypothesis: Missoulians excel at exercising the “on vacation” mode without even leaving our Garden City.  Based on my 26 years of observing people and places in the U.S. and abroad, I propose, dear readers, that Missoulians are perhaps more willing than most to mellow their personal boundaries, bend the rules, and celebrate life. 

Here are some examples of common Missoulian “on vacation” situations, where our behavior—whether it’s debauchery or uncharacteristic risk-taking—is explained with the same shrug and smirk I employed in Mexico:

- “It’s a sunny day at Snowbowl.”
- “It’s a sunny day in March.”
- “It’s a barbeque.”
- “It’s a river trip.”
- “It’s a Thursday.”
- “It’s the solstice.” (Either one.)
- “It’s Mexican Independence Day.” (I’ve never seen such debauchery at the Elk’s Club.)
- “My friend/second cousin/pen pal is visiting.”

That last reason—visitors—may well be why Missoulians seem more inclined to unabashedly flip the switch to “on vacation” mode.  I bet you’ve all heard the saying: “There are two seasons in Montana: winter and visitors.” (It’s true.  Basically, I run an under-priced hostel from May through September.)

Visitors are fun because:

1) you get to watch your friends and family (and everyone else’s friends and family) in their personal “on vacation” mode, in which they do things they would never do at home,

and

2) you also get an excuse to be “on vacation” and enjoy more barbeques, float trips, and beer while showing off our lovely home.

So, after reaching these profound hypotheses upon my return to Missoula, I realized that winter is not only hard because it is grey and cold and long, but also because we don’t have as many visitors to flip our switch to “on vacation” mode.  We have to go “on vacation” ourselves to reap the benefits of missing inhibitions and blurred boundaries.  Ah, how I love blurred boundaries…

But it’s good to be home.  I returned just in time for both the onset of sunny spring days and the return of visitor season.  My friend Blondie’s weekend visitor provided me with quality entertainment during his “I’m-a-single-male-on-vacation” mode, and there’s plenty of soft, fabulous corn-snow at the Bowl. 

Out my office window I can see The Kim Williams Trail jammed with dogs, babies, runners and bikers, idealistically sporting tank tops and flip-flops and narrowly avoiding collisions.  And the Channel 23 news van filmed it all yesterday: “Breaking News: The Sun Comes Out in Montana.”

What they probably didn’t report is that half of those people looked so blissed-out because that sun was their excuse to be “on vacation”—from work, house chores, winter coats, and winter worries.

Yup.  It’s good to be home, indeed. 

QUESTION OF THE WEEK:
What’s your favorite reason to flip the switch to “on vacation” mode in Missoula?

QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
“I mean, it’s hard to drink enough to become intoxicated enough to sleep with someone you don’t know on Sunday night.  Maybe on Friday or Thursday or Saturday night, but it’s too hard on Sunday.” – random drunk girl

MARCH “YOU MADE IT” CONTEST THEME: PICK-UPS WHILE RECREATING

Have you ever been hit on while recreating around Missoula?  Maybe received a casual invitation to a potluck while mountain biking past an eligible someone in the Rattlesnake?  Or hit it off with that cross-country skier you kept passing on the loop in Pattee Canyon?  Tell us your story of pick-up lines, chance meetings, or even first dates that took place on one of Missoula’s renowned trails or rivers.  And don’t forget to tell us how it ended!

Send your stories to or for a chance to win a big bouquet from Bitterroot Flowers and a bottle of wine from Ten Spoon Winery on March 30th!  Also, if you’re interested in writing a guest column about how you’re “Making it in Missoula,” email us for details.

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