Missoula News

Column: Missoula's Dish

Raiding the Tomb of Assumptions

By Danielle Lattuga, 9-20-07

Pull up a chair and join me, as we embark on a feast of undisclosed proportions in the second installment of Missoula’s Dish: an exploration of restaurant life in Missoula, and its microcosmic implications.

I am dressed entirely in black, sprinting down the sidewalk on South Higgins Ave., enjoying the drop in temperature that comes just after sunset, on a summer Saturday.  Oncoming cars bounce light into the corner of my eye, from the evening’s chosen bling that dangles around my neck. The ends of my ponytail slap my flushed cheeks, as I give a quick look both ways before entering the street. 

I am chasing after treasure, but no, I am not Tomb Raider, although that would fulfill the juvenile fantasies of at least one of my co-workers.  It is small treasure, albeit, and perhaps from the perspective of some, not worth the run, but for me, it’s all about the principals (or lack thereof) of the situation.  Never mind that my co-workers are watching in amusement as I disappear around the corner. 

I approach the young couple from behind and as she tilts her head closer to his, I hear her say, “These are really pretty flowers, aren’t they.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like them.” I appear in front of the two of them, stopping them in their tracks. I manage to squeeze the syllables out between my slightly labored breaths, “They are pretty flowers, and they belong to us.” Her eyes grow bigger and I see her bottom lip quiver slightly. She holds out the perfect bundle that constituted our sidewalk dining flare. “Here, you can have them back, I thought you were done with them.”

“Thank you.” I take them gently from her, and run back in the direction from which I came, only to return to my fellow servers, who burst into fresh fits of laughter.

“That was awesome.  I can’t believe you just did that.”

“Well, she took our stuff.  If she had asked, I probably would have given them to her.”

“What did she say?”

“She thought we were done with them.  Why would we be done with them?  What does she think, flowers grow on trees?” I giggle, knowing how absurd I sound.  “I mean, we could still get at least three more days of them, at the very least, she could have asked.”

And therein lies the dilemma, a quandary that frequently haunts those of us in the service industry, and those of us seeking quality service.  It could possibly be the number one challenge for many of us, and hence a good place to begin this installment of Missoula’s Dish.  The Assumption. We all know the saying about assumptions, but do we recognize how frequently we make assumptions (or act under the guise of them)?

It was quite clear to me that the young woman who plucked the flowers from their vase as she strode past our restaurant, really was only thinking that she had found a late night treasure and perhaps her mistake was in thinking no further (the dormant assumption).  I forgave her as soon as I saw her countenance awash slightly in panic and guilt.

It is true, most people would have just let it go, because it was in actuality, not a big deal, but it provides us with a quintessential example of how assumption is commonplace in many of our interactions.  My co-worker who actually observed her taking the flowers merely exclaimed, “Hey, that girl just took our flowers,” and assumed that was the end of the situation.  She found it hilarious that my swift exit from behind the bar and out the front door, to retrieve the flowers, shattered her assumption. 

While this situation was resolved easily and was relatively harmless, I have seen many assumptions make the difference between someone’s service experience being exemplary and being horrific.  The simple answer to the assumption is: ask the question, first to yourself, then to the person you are attempting to communicate with. To reveal the potential assumptions, we must ask ourselves, repeatedly: Am I communicating in a way that fosters or removes the potential for assumption. If you don’t feel confident reading a customer’s preferences, just ask.  If you don’t feel that a server (or anyone serving you in any way) understood or heard what you said, politely clarify it. Listen to yourself and listen to what people are saying in between their words.

Here are a few examples that may help prevent making you look like the first syllable of our word of the day:

Don’t assume that people are inherently rude, let them prove or disprove it to you before reacting as if they are.

Don’t assume that everyone had the same kind of day you did. 

Don’t assume that because someone is serving you, they are less of a person than you are.  Chances are, in this town, your server has more than one diploma, and they do this work to support any variety of interesting hobbies, passions, or world-changing endeavors (also, they probably like the freedom of the job and it’s social qualities).

Don’t assume that because someone’s plate is empty, they want you to take it away.  Ask them, not if they are done “working” on it (eating should be a celebration, not a job), but if they are finished enjoying their meal, or simply if you can take their plate for them. 

Don’t assume that because someone is buying something, they want it in a bag (or six).  In this town, most people think bags are lame.

Don’t assume that someone wants your political opinions or personal hygienic secrets accompanying their soup course.  Pay attention to what your customers respond to and filter yourself accordingly.

Basically, assume nothing.

But most of all,

Don’t assume that if someone takes something from you, you can’t get it back, especially when you are dressed in black and running under the cover of darkness.

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