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BIG NOTHING

Worry About Polygamy, Not TV

By Tracy Medley, 4-10-06

While much of Utah is busy getting its panties in a wad over HBO’s new polygamy-drama, Big Love and how it’s supposedly giving Utah a bad name, the real problem of polygamy remains. Why are so many Utahns harping about a fictional television show depicting a polygamous marriage between consenting adults while their real-life tax dollars are being used to support polygamous compounds known for rampant physical, emotional and sexual abuse?

While the idea of sharing my husband with any woman (let alone Chloë Sevigny) makes my flesh crawl, it just makes sense to me that consenting adults should be allowed to enter into any marital arrangement they wish, be it a man to another man; a woman to another woman or having multiple partners. That said, when sex and plural marriage are forced upon underage girls by creepy, old men claiming Godly authority, I’ve got to put my foot down.

Before the first episode of Big Love even aired several of Utah’s Mormons began a letter writing campaign asking HBO to cancel the series because they felt that it misrepresented both their religion and their state. Members of the LDS church are usually quick to point out that polygamy was officially outlawed by the church in 1890 and is no longer an acceptable practice of members of their faith. But why are they so adamant about making this distinction? Especially when polygamy is part of the church and state’s unique history and was only banned when Utah’s bid for statehood was at risk.

I suppose I understand because I was raised Mormon and the topic of polygamy has always made me uncomfortable. Growing up in south Florida, I had to give the above, “No, Mormons don’t do that anymore” speech more times than I can remember, but never had an answer for myself when faced with the idea that after my parent’s civil divorce my father could re-marry another woman in the temple, while my mother could not. But, these are not questions that most Mormons want to ask, at least not out loud.

Not talking about polygamy and acting as if it isn’t a part of our history as both a religion and a state is precisely what compels the rest of the world to think we have something to hide. And we do. Polygamy is Utah’s dirty little non-secret.

It’s easier to say, “It’s not us” than it is to actually deal with the fallout of our Mormon heritage, to actually deal with the thought of child-brides and lost boys. When polygamy became illegal, it was driven underground by those not willing to follow the mainstream LDS church. Polygamy would continue in secret and in many cases it is that secrecy which paved the way for a culture of abuse, incest and rape to thrive.

While mainstream Utah plugs its ears and hums The Fundamentalist Mormon church (FLDS) continues to become more insular and more dangerous. They are also maintaining a substantial financial drain on the state, with most of their wives claming welfare for themselves and their children. But let’s not talk about it, because we might have to answer some difficult questions of ourselves and our faith.

I find it truly indefensible that these folks found the time to write letters to the Tribune and to HBO about a television show, but have apparently been too busy to spend some of their righteous energy on writing to their congresspeople and senators about the very real problem giving our state a bad name.

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