New Column

Making It In Missoula

By Big Sis and Little Sis, 8-10-06

BIG SIS:

We would like to introduce you to a new source for social enlightenment—in the form of a weekly column. But this isn’t a typical column you skim through, yawn, and move on. Oh, no.

“Making it in Missoula” is a forum, an exploration, and an interactive tool for all of us that like to trade secrets and stay connected. It’s a weekly run-down of gossip and culture that keeps you up to date, and maybe even gets you a date, in our fair Garden City.

Basically, we want this to be a big, communal orgy for learning about the tasty tidbits and ironic interactions that pop up at Missoula’s hippest spots. Think of it as a follow-up to the events you find in the Independent and the Entertainer. This is the place you go to debrief the weekend’s concerts, barbecue’s, fundraisers, and sporting events.

This column will explore the tangled web we weave in our small city, a city full of people who like to eat, drink, dance, ski, hike, and just about every other verb that exists. Our tales will delve into the sticky connections and overlapping social circles that can be either comforting or claustrophobic (depending on whether you run into your long-lost friend from college at the Rattlesnake Trailhead or the random guy you hooked up with last Friday after a particularly rambunctious potluck).

We’re going to report some of the juicy details that land in our web, and hope you’ll share some of your sticky strands, too.

Here’s how it’s going to work: Little Sis and I are going to team up and plunge into the fray of music, recreation, loving and living that characterize Missoula (this will be made easier by the fact that we’re also roommates). One week I’ll write about a few fun happenings and their associated social exploits. Then, the next week Little Sis will do the same from her perspective.

All names in the column will be creatively changed (so our house doesn’t get egged), and all details in the column will be completely true (mostly). We’ll only exaggerate when it makes the events sound more entertaining, and we promise to respond to your suggestions if they aren’t too mean.

We’d like to invite your participation. Think of it as a reverse-advice column. Help us out with dating advice, as we certainly shouldn’t be giving any. Psychoanalyze the people that appear in the column in 10 words or less. Console us, laugh at us, and, most of all, relate your own adventures.

We also hope you’ll answer critically important questions we’ll intersperse in the comment section below, starting with an easy one, like:

“What’s the best tubing take-out on the Blackfoot? And what’s your second favorite, in case you’ve had too many beers to locate the first?”

LITTLE SIS:
My writing in this column is dedicated to those of you currently experiencing the Missoula dating scene, such as it is. It is a nod to the ironies of being single in a small town, the excitement that just a simple night out at the bars provides, and an exploration of the ridiculousness that continued social availability can bring.

To those of you currently attached: a.) this column is to remind you of the roller coaster of being single in a small town that is becoming smaller by the minute (memories you’ve probably blocked out at this point, so we hope to awaken some sympathy from your blissfully happy state), and b.) screw you.

I’m a California girl, accustomed to the high-speed, opportunistic, and at times exotic dating world of Los Angeles. Missoula is obviously a little more . . . confined. Everyone knows everyone, from the guy who sells you coffee at the Break to the lady who sells those excellent empanadas at Out to Lunch.

Add to that familiarity the fact that the pool of single people in Missoula is puzzlingly small and never fluctuates beyond a certain number. People can move in and out of the pool, but apparently there’s an official quota of unattached citizens, possibly set by the bartender at the Iron Horse to appropriately limit morose drinking. Of course, everyone in this pool has already dated you, your best friend, and occasionally sleeps with your neighbor.

The point is that in Missoula, we have maybe two (if you’re lucky) degrees of separation instead of six, which makes it a hell of a lot harder to forget an embarrassing one-night stand than if you lived in, say, Los Angeles. But it also adds an element of excitement: you never know what fun encounters the Old Post deck has in store.

This brings us to the task of setting the stage. There are a few main hubs of social activity in town, for example the Old Post deck in the summer and Snowbowl in the winter. The OPP serves some of the best bar food in town, and its deck is packed with sunburned boaters and slightly drunk tubers. Conversely, Snowbowl in the winter is one of the happiest places on earth, and the obligatory Bloody Mary in the bar after a cold day on the slopes (all 8 of them) can be the social event of the weekend.

The stage also includes countless barbecues, unplanned gatherings, and parties, some involving costumes, generally to raise a few bucks for all of your friends’ various non-profits.

To those readers who may be concerned that none of this applies to you, remember: you live in Missoula. You can’t walk around naked for too long after your shower because your sister’s ex-boyfriend drops by unexpectedly to check out your garden. The connections are everywhere, and the ironies are rarely subtle.

Welcome to our life. We’re happy to have you here, making it with us in Missoula. And remember, your secret’s safe with these sisters. Sort of.

Quotes of the Week:

“I’m done with cute and moving on to employed.”
-A friend’s comment while watching attractive men float by us in tubes on the Blackfoot.

“Hey—do you wanna be my friend’s boyfriend? She’s got a kayak, too.”
-Shouted from an SUV to a dude with a kayak on his truck while both cars waited at the Broadway-Van Buren intersection. (The dude looked confused.)

Like this story? Get more! Sign up for our free newsletters.