Courtney, What's for dinner tonight, dear? How was your day?

As an old school feminist, it always shocks me when these absurd assumptions re-emerge in public discourse, and with a straight face. It's as if someone gave the once somewhat subverted male chauvinist pigs a "get out of jail free" card, and now they feel free to sound off with impunity, whether it's Harvard presidents claiming women lack ability in science, or attacks on Title IX, or lately, bold statements from a top UK advertising executive saying women don't have what it takes to succeed in advertising because when the going gets tough, they "run off and suckle something."

This same man also bragged about not having seen his son in eight days. I think that man could use a few lessons in suckling, personally. Then maybe he would have what it takes to succeed in parenting, instead of bragging about his own miserable failure.

And Conrad Burns in Montana isn't alone in this new boldness. A wing-nut prominent broadcaster in Atlanta was quoted the other day saying that a poor single mother relocated to Atlanta from New Orleans (code for African American) would be better off walking a short distance from the hotel the government put her up in and working as a streetwalker turning tricks, if it took her off the government dole.

I guess that's his idea of right-wing "family values." They only apply to people white enough to afford them, or women who are under the protection and ownership of their superior husbands.

Meanwhile anti-abortionists are seeking to recreate the old network of institutions for unwed mothers, a place to hide incognito to conceal that the pregnancy ever happened. It's a bald-faced attempt to reinstitute a more severe social and religious stigma for single mothers (but not unwed fathers, of course), implying by extension not only that women should not get to control their own bodies, but also that they must remain under the ownership and control of a protective father until such a date as they move to the ownership and control of a protective husband.

Those that violate that style of social mores will be expected to hide in homes for unwed mothers until such a time as they can give the baby up, and no one will be any the wiser. Meanwhile, they will single-handedly carry this reborn burden of shame while at the same time living at the mercy of being unable to control what happens to their own bodies regarding pregnancy, birth control, coercion, abuse, or rape.

Amazing how many folks are emerging from the woodwork so wildly enthusiastic for the return of those twisted values.

Time to go reread Margaret Atwood's "The Handmaid's Tale," isn't it?

Chris

Women today who "outsource" their child raising to a day care center in order to pursure a career are certainly not mothers. They are selfish individuals who give all women a bad reputation.
The woman, not the man, is best suited for caring for their child on a day to day basis. The man is best at what he does, provide for his family. I however do firmly believe that politics has no place in a womens right to choose. A women should never be made to feel guilty for having an abortion. Bush and his neocon/Christian right wackos can stuff it. I think it's high time society got back on track in terms of traditional family values which, have worked for centuries.

Susan, leaving aside the question of whether it's ok for mothers to pursue careers, I'd venture to say that a lot of mothers work not because they are selfish, but because they have to to feed their families. Supporting a family on one income is very difficult in America these days.

Here's a link to a transcript of the Atlanta broadcaster Neal Boortz who made the comments I referred to above about the Hurricane Katrina victim who he believes should turn to prostitution:

http://mediamatters.org/items/200510240014

From the October 24 edition of Cox Radio Syndication's The Neal Boortz Show. You can also play the MP3 of the bit there.

Chris

Perhaps stay-at-home moms who have trouble making ends meet can feed their families some of the PORK that Burns is so fond of? How 'bout some Montana-grown WILD HORSE MEAT? I hear it's quite tender and succulent if you cook it long enough. Then again, maybe they'd better microwave it, because paying the gas bill is another matter...Burns just voted against more funding for the Low Income Energy Assistance Program. Well, that's not entirely true -- he voted for a lesser amount of assistance funded by cuts to health and education programs including (get this) Head Start! (He cited -- of all things -- "fiscal responsibility with respect to the budget deficit." Gag me.)

Perhaps struggling stay-at-home moms with kids can move to Michigan and join the Saginaw Chippewa tribe? I hear they're dining on LOTS of tasty pork thanks to Conrad & Company!

Seriously, it's time to outsource Burns. May I suggest November 2006?

Jonathan,
Yes there are situations where a woman has absolutely no choice but to work, fine. But too many women abandon their children to pursue a career even though their husband earns enough to support the entire family.
It's a matter of what's more important. Is that fancy car more important than raising one's own children? How about living within one's means? Radical idea for many of these so called "mothers".

As a stay-at-home Dad, I'm a bit shocked by this retrograde blanket claim by Ms. McDougall (I see you're out of jail now) that mothers are more suited to parenting than dads Other than breast-feeding, I can do everything mom can. But at this moment, she has a more lucrative and satisfying career and it makes a lot more sense for her to work and me to stay home.

Yes, I feel incredibly privileged to be able to keep the kid OUT of day care as long as possible. At the same time, it is VERY difficult and exhausting to handle an active child all day. We stay-at-home parents miss grown-up conversation and professional involvement in the affairs of the world. And at this point, I suspect the little guy could actually benefit from some degree of this evil day care stuff.... He enjoys new environments and interaction with other small children, something he doesn't get at home with me.

So, Ms. McDougall, I humbly suggest that child care these days is a very complex and difficult issue, and each family carefully tries to juggle finances, career rewards, and personal care of the baby. What parents don't need, little Missy, is knee-jerk, judgmental attacks on mothers who dare to work outside the home. Sounds an awful lot like something Mr. Burns would say! I don't know your parenting status, but if you are childless, then BACK OFF till you've actually had to drop a kid with strangers so you could go to a crappy job just to pay the bills. As for your scenario of the husband with enough money for the whole family - good for them. You must hang out with a pretty wealthy crowd -- this scenario is NOT AT ALL typical in Montana, for example, where two incomes typically barely make ends meet.

It's hard enough to pull this off without being judged and convicted by people who have an Internet connection an apparently use it without thinking.

At least someone is staying home with their kid. But it would be MUCH better if you wife did this. Women are better suited to child raising.
I do have 3 kids and I am a homemaker. I'm 27 years old and I love my life. In my experience, women who dump their kids off at day care have NO business having them in the first place. They are nothing more than selfish broads.

Funny, but that's exactly what I think of MEN who dump raising their kids off on their "wives" (i.e. unpaid household servants).

Selfish SOBs.

What a radical idea, isn't it? THAT partners and parents should RAISE kids, despite who- or whatever may be BABYSITTING them at any given time when the parents are away, day care, schools, a television set or video game...

It's a hard thing to do, to actually look at a situation and how it is evolving in society, instead of uncritically repeating whatever assumptions some of us have been force-fed about unfairly specialized sex roles and bigoted gender stereotyping.

Chris

Wow, Susan, you don't know anyone who has to use daycare? All of your friends are stay-at-home moms? That's amazing. In my circle of friends and acquaintances, some parents have kept their kids at home until they're ready to go to school and some have had their kids in daycare since two months of age. Both families are healthy and happy and well-adjusted. There is no one-size-fits all solution that is best for every family. That's why it's such a tough issue. This is what I find so discouraging about most conversations these days. They get shut down so quickly because of "absolute" solutions: the best answer is X and there are no variations of that answer. And if you don't implement answer X, you are a complete loser. Why are shades of gray and compromises so hard to see?

Susan,

BACK! Back to the 50's where you belong! There is no place for you here in the modern world!

Conrad,

See you on election day, sucker.