Networking the West with Liz Ryan

The Least Interesting Thing About You

By Liz Ryan, 6-19-06

We've been misled, mis-directed and outright lied to - in that most of what we've been told about networking is a load of Colorado mountain goat dookie. But the worst bit, the part that really steams me, is the conventional networking wisdom that says "Immediately upon meeting a person, tell him or her what you do - your 30-second business pitch."

Now, I'm sure that in a five-minute conversation I'd have plenty of time to discover your intelligence, humor and warmth - all elements that would induce me to keep the conversation going a good bit longer. But it won't happen because you audio-blast me with your business card!

Unless you are Evel Knievel, the least interesting thing about you is your job title and description. Why would you start a conversation that way? Wouldn't you lead with something a little more human, more individual - a reason for a person to say "I'd like to know this person better"?

Compare these two intros:

HIM: "Hello Jane - I'm Andrew. What do you do?"
YOU: "Oh, I have a full-service marketing agency, creating brand identities for clients in print and online. We do website design and create kick-ass marketing collateral materials, and so some logo design. Also--"

Oh dear. It hasn't even been ten seconds, and poor Andrew is wishing he'd chatted up that fellow in the corner with the pince-nez, instead of Jane. What about this, instead:

HIM: "Hello Jane - I'm Andrew. What do you do?"
YOU: "Wacky marketing campaigns. But what about you, Andrew - why the little bassoon tie-tack? Do you play the bassoon?"
HIM: "Indeed I do - with the Boulder Phil. Are you a musician?"
YOU: "Not at all, but I take hip-hop dance class - maybe we could create a bassoon-and-break-dancing performance piece for the next Fringe Festival."
HIM: "And you could do the marketing for our act."
YOU: "Good memory. What do you do when you're not playing the bassoon?"

Okay - now Andrew has met a living person rather than a walking, talking business card. Isn't that much more satisfying? The second version of Jane is aware that her 30-second pitch does NO GOOD when it's delivered out of context, unwelcome, to a person who has no connection to her. But if Jane and Andrew continue to enjoy each other's conversation (about bassoons, break-dancing, astrology, geopolitics, or what have you) then they will have something real. They will have a relationship based on the only thing that real relationships are based on - namely, mutual intellectual/emotional/philosophical attraction - and a reason to call one another if, six months down the road, his or her services are required.

People go to networking events like they're door-to-door encyclopedia salesmen: Want to buy? Want to buy? It's absurd, and it's offensive. If you have nothing more interesting to say to me than what's in your marketing brochure, go talk to someone else. I want to enjoy some conversation with people who are deeper, more fun, and more respectful of the worth of others (i.e., as real people, not just conduits to a networker's next client) than that.

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