Dog Doo

Karmic Turding: Another Likely Excuse?

By Christie Aschwanden, 3-03-05

Before all you dog owners (or human companions, if you're in Boulder) bombard my inbox with hate mail let me make one thing clear: I love dogs. And I especially love to see them frolicking about in the great outdoors under the voice or leash control of their human friends. But—I think it's time to cut the (dog) crap.

I mention this after reading an editorial in the Aspen Daily News in which Lynn Burton discusses two practices, "karma turding" and "turd banking", which are apparently gaining favor in the Carbondale area. Both involve picking up crap from other peoples' dogs. "The theory is that one of these days you'll miss your dog's turd for whatever reason, but that's OK because you've already picked up many other turds. It's like you've built up a karma account or bank account, which you can now draw upon," Burton writes.

As someone who long ago stopped running Boulder's Mt Sanitas trails, for fear of sinking my sneakers into one of those odorous heaps that lurk trailside, I welcome anything that reduces the canine crap that seems to congregate around popular trails. Still, "karma banking" sounds to me like a practice that's ripe for abuse.

For instance, ever notice all those bags of dog poop that accumulate along frequently used trails, especially near trailheads? I know how they got there. Jane and John Labradorlove drive to the trailhead with Denali and Sierra. The dogs get a few hundred feet from the SUV, and they dump their load. Jane and John don't hesitate to bag the dogs' turds, but they would rather not spend their entire four mile hike carrying the dog doo bag, so they drop it on the side of the trail and tell themselves that they'll pick it up on their way back to the car. Except they forget.

Now if Jane and John were "turd bankers," they might tell themselves that it's no big deal and they'll just pick up an extra turd bag next time. The trouble is, if they can't remember to pick up the crap the first time, how can they be expected to keep track of the balance on their turd bank?

I say, forget the turd credits. Let's just do the right thing at the right time. Keep your eye on your dog, and when s/he takes a dump, deal with it. Then and there. I'm a realist, and I understand that there are going to be certain occasions when picking up Fido's turd just isn't practical or possible. But these should be the exception. Losing sight of Fido and thus missing the fact that he's unloaded a steamer is no excuse.

If you really want some good karma, pick up the turd from the chump who didn't clean up after his dog. Just don't tell me that picking up a days-old dried up turd absolves you from cleaning up your dog's fresh mess.

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