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My Page: Joan Opyr

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Weasel Words

It would seem that the Bush Administration has redefined hunger as "low food security." The words have a real and technical use. Extension agents use "low food security" to describe people who don't know if they're going to be able to afford both food and rent. Low food security can lead to hunger, but it's not the same as hunger. Conflating the two is a nasty political trick. If you'll forgive the pun, it's a way of making starvation seem palatable. The news that 35 million Americans are going hungry sounds so much better when we take terms like low food security and turn them into weasel words. [more]

Hell Opens A Hockey Rink

Before right-wing conservative bloggers like Moscow's Dale Courtney pop their collective champagne corks, perhaps they should have a look at the local Latah County Elections page. HJR2 was defeated soundly here. Bill Sali lost big, and Jerry Brady defeated Butch Otter. We returned Democrat Shirley Ringo to the Idaho Statehouse by an overwhelming margin, and we voted for experienced teacher and school administrator Jana Jones over businessman Tom Luna, the man with the online bachelor’s degree. The Latah County Commissioners now comprise two Democrats and one Republican, and that Republican held on to his seat by a mere 180 votes. Yes, Idaho is red, but Latah County is BLUE. I still feel comfortable and safe here. I still feel happy here. And I woke up this morning singing. My song?

The House is blue, the Senate is blue, and so, Bill Sali, what can you do? [more]

Smooth and Steady

My colleague down in Boise, Jill Kuraitis, has reported that the Idaho version of a mob scene is playing at Ada County polling stations, i.e., voters are facing twenty-minute waits. Okay, this is nothing akin to the nightmare facing voters in Denver, Colorado, but Idahoans aren't used to waiting for anything -- be it voting, traffic, or farm subsidies. Twenty minutes to us is like two hours to a Denver urbanite. Our patience is decidedly limited.

Meanwhile, up here in calm, cool, and collected Latah County, the Auditors' Office tells me that voting is steady but smooth. Unofficial pollwatchers in Troy and at the Latah County Fairgrounds have told me that the lines this morning were not outrageous but that the turnout "felt" heavier. This afternoon, the waits are not long, but there's no let up in the stream of voters; the numbers remain steady. What does this mean for Democrats and Republicans both statewide and local? I have no idea.

Me? I voted absentee. We haven't gone electronic up here yet, but I'm practicing for the future. I like a real, substantial, recountable paper ballot. Give me liberty or give me death, but don't give me Diebold.

Doing Justice to my Adopted Home

The title of my first novel is Idaho Code: Where Family Therapy Comes With a Shovel and an Alibi. I began my talk in Amsterdam by asking if anyone in the audience had ever been to Idaho. No hands were raised. I then asked if anyone knew where Idaho was. A few hands -- there were a couple of transplanted New Yorkers in the crowd. I decided that before I read from my book and its sequel, From Hell to Breakfast, I'd try to give a brief description of my adopted home state. I said that it took about twelve hours to drive from the Canadian border in the north to Idaho Falls in the south, and that was if you didn't mind getting a speeding ticket. I pointed out that our state population only recently topped the one million mark. I said that Idaho was a libertarian place; that although it was technically Republican Red, it was wild and open and free. Finally, I told them about a fellow I knew whose grandmother had been eaten by a grizzly bear. That's when they began laughing. They laughed harder when I explained that when I'd expressed my condolences, the man had said, "No, it's okay. That's the way she'd have wanted to go." And that, I believe, captures the true spirit of this state. What are we like? This is what we're like. We're odd and strange and funny and tough. We are real live cowboys. [more]

Victim Reported in Good Condition

The Moscow-Pullman Daily News and The Daily Evergreen have reported that a University of Idaho student was stabbed by an alleged robber in the ground-floor restroom of the Engineering and Physics Building. According to the Evergreen, "The victim told police he entered the restroom and saw three other males. As he moved into a stall, two of the males left the restroom. The remaining male then kicked in the victim's stall door and demanded identification and money from the victim." The victim pulled out a cell phone instead, at which point his assailant pulled out a black pistol, pointed it at the victim, and then attacked him with a knife held in his other hand. The victim, who was treated at Moscow's Gritman Hospital, suffered superficial wounds on his ear and back.

Police are looking for a suspect approximately five-feet ten inches tall and between 160 and 170 pounds in weight. At the time of the assault, the suspect was wearing a black hooded Idaho sweatshirt with white lettering. Anyone with any information is encouraged to contact the Moscow Police Department at (208) 882-2677.

Commentary: Am I Blue?

I have been foolishly hopeful in past elections. When I moved to this state in 1993, we weren’t blue, but we were a nice shade of purple. The great Democrat Cecil Andrus had served for a combined fourteen years as Idaho’s governor, and another Democrat, Larry LaRocco, held the First District Congressional seat. What happened? It’s hard to say. Idaho grew redder and redder and, finally, it tipped entirely out of balance and fell off the edge of the earth. This became the land that time forgot. Cars actually sported bumper stickers that said, “Idaho Is What America Was.” Never mind will be. We didn’t give a damn about the future. We were too busy trying to recreate some mythical past, one in which education, natural resources, civil rights, health care, social welfare and constitutional protections didn’t matter, not so long as taxes could be cut and spending pared to the bone. [more]

Commentary

Is he or isn't he?

Gay activist Mike Rogers claimed Idaho Senator Larry Craig has had gay affairs on the Ed Schultz Radio Show yesterday. Craig denies the allegations. New West's Jill Kuraitis reports that Craig's press secretary, Sid Smith, says "The Senator says this story is absolutely ridiculous – almost laughable . . . . It has no basis in fact.” Who's telling the truth, Rogers or Craig? Does it matter? Yes, it does, but only because Craig is a big wheel in the GOP, and that means he can't be gay. The Republicans talk about a big tent, but in truth, it's a pup tent. There's only enough room for Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, and the Coleman stove of hellfire and damnation that serves as their Bible. If you're not white, straight, Christian and male, out in the cold you go. [more]

Buck Fever

Fall is upon us. The weather has turned chilly, the days are getting short, and everywhere, Idaho lesbians are defying national stereotypes and loading up to shoot Bambi. And Feline. And Bambi’s father, his mother, his grandparents -- the whole extended Bambi family. Some of us are hoping to shoot Uncle Buck. We have tacky dreams of tacky antler chandeliers and tacky horned hat racks. We are the lesbian hunters of Great White North. Look out, Doug and Bob MacKenzie. [more]

Another Sex Abuse Scandal Rocks Moscow

KREM News has reported that Pastor William Malgren of Moscow's New Hope Baptist Church has been arrested in Latah County on an out-of-state warrant. Malgren is charged with having performed sex acts on a minor child under the age of 16 and continual abuse of a minor. Malgren is alleged to have committed the crimes in the mid-1980s while living in California. Complete details of the case are as yet unknown.

Buckle Up

Let’s stop tarting this up. Let’s stop pretending that former Congresswoman Helen Chenoweth-Hage was just another "colorful" Idaho eccentric with a powerful libertarian streak. She was a nut -- a dangerous, reckless, senseless nut whose death in a single car accident in Nevada on October 2nd was tragic but not really much of a surprise. Why wasn’t Chenoweth-Hage wearing a seatbelt? Because she didn’t need no stinking seatbelt, never mind the dictates of common sense and Nevada law. [more]

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