New Column
Making It In Missoula
By Little Sis, 8-10-06
BIG SIS:We would like to introduce you to a new source for social enlightenment—in the form of a weekly column. But this isn’t a typical column you skim through, yawn, and move on. Oh, no.
“Making it in Missoula” is a forum, an exploration, and an interactive tool for all of us that like to trade secrets and stay connected. It’s a weekly run-down of gossip and culture that keeps you up to date, and maybe even gets you a date, in our fair Garden City.
Basically, we want this to be a big, communal orgy for learning about the tasty tidbits and ironic interactions that pop up at Missoula’s hippest spots. Think of it as a follow-up to the events you find in the Independent and the Entertainer. This is the place you go to debrief the weekend’s concerts, barbecue’s, fundraisers, and sporting events.
This column will explore the tangled web we weave in our small city, a city full of people who like to eat, drink, dance, ski, hike, and just about every other verb that exists. Our tales will delve into the sticky connections and overlapping social circles that can be either comforting or claustrophobic (depending on whether you run into your long-lost friend from college at the Rattlesnake Trailhead or the random guy you hooked up with last Friday after a particularly rambunctious potluck).
We’re going to report some of the juicy details that land in our web, and hope you’ll share some of your sticky strands, too.
Here’s how it’s going to work: Little Sis and I are going to team up and plunge into the fray of music, recreation, loving and living that characterize Missoula (this will be made easier by the fact that we’re also roommates). One week I’ll write about a few fun happenings and their associated social exploits. Then, the next week Little Sis will do the same from her perspective.
All names in the column will be creatively changed (so our house doesn’t get egged), and all details in the column will be completely true (mostly). We’ll only exaggerate when it makes the events sound more entertaining, and we promise to respond to your suggestions if they aren’t too mean.
We’d like to invite your participation. Think of it as a reverse-advice column. Help us out with dating advice, as we certainly shouldn’t be giving any. Psychoanalyze the people that appear in the column in 10 words or less. Console us, laugh at us, and, most of all, relate your own adventures.
We also hope you’ll answer critically important questions we’ll intersperse in the comment section below, starting with an easy one, like:
“What’s the best tubing take-out on the Blackfoot? And what’s your second favorite, in case you’ve had too many beers to locate the first?”
LITTLE SIS:
My writing in this column is dedicated to those of you currently experiencing the Missoula dating scene, such as it is. It is a nod to the ironies of being single in a small town, the excitement that just a simple night out at the bars provides, and an exploration of the ridiculousness that continued social availability can bring.
To those of you currently attached: a.) this column is to remind you of the roller coaster of being single in a small town that is becoming smaller by the minute (memories you’ve probably blocked out at this point, so we hope to awaken some sympathy from your blissfully happy state), and b.) screw you.
I’m a California girl, accustomed to the high-speed, opportunistic, and at times exotic dating world of Los Angeles. Missoula is obviously a little more . . . confined. Everyone knows everyone, from the guy who sells you coffee at the Break to the lady who sells those excellent empanadas at Out to Lunch.
Add to that familiarity the fact that the pool of single people in Missoula is puzzlingly small and never fluctuates beyond a certain number. People can move in and out of the pool, but apparently there’s an official quota of unattached citizens, possibly set by the bartender at the Iron Horse to appropriately limit morose drinking. Of course, everyone in this pool has already dated you, your best friend, and occasionally sleeps with your neighbor.
The point is that in Missoula, we have maybe two (if you’re lucky) degrees of separation instead of six, which makes it a hell of a lot harder to forget an embarrassing one-night stand than if you lived in, say, Los Angeles. But it also adds an element of excitement: you never know what fun encounters the Old Post deck has in store.
This brings us to the task of setting the stage. There are a few main hubs of social activity in town, for example the Old Post deck in the summer and Snowbowl in the winter. The OPP serves some of the best bar food in town, and its deck is packed with sunburned boaters and slightly drunk tubers. Conversely, Snowbowl in the winter is one of the happiest places on earth, and the obligatory Bloody Mary in the bar after a cold day on the slopes (all 8 of them) can be the social event of the weekend.
The stage also includes countless barbecues, unplanned gatherings, and parties, some involving costumes, generally to raise a few bucks for all of your friends’ various non-profits.
To those readers who may be concerned that none of this applies to you, remember: you live in Missoula. You can’t walk around naked for too long after your shower because your sister’s ex-boyfriend drops by unexpectedly to check out your garden. The connections are everywhere, and the ironies are rarely subtle.
Welcome to our life. We’re happy to have you here, making it with us in Missoula. And remember, your secret’s safe with these sisters. Sort of.
Quotes of the Week:
“I’m done with cute and moving on to employed.”
-A friend’s comment while watching attractive men float by us in tubes on the Blackfoot.
“Hey—do you wanna be my friend’s boyfriend? She’s got a kayak, too.”
-Shouted from an SUV to a dude with a kayak on his truck while both cars waited at the Broadway-Van Buren intersection. (The dude looked confused.)
[End of article]
Wow! Something new and refreshing--can't wait for the next installment!
Comment By dirtman, 8-10-06great idea!
i've got a great question to ask your readers....
what do you do when your parents come to visit? i mean, do you cover up everything weird & ask some of your stranger friends be scarce? or do you smoke a bowl naked in front of them? do you like act all middle class to make them happy while they're there? or do you hold the usual fetish and pot luck party and hope they join in? really...
i vote you always invite the parents to join in...you'll discover a whole new side to their fetishes if they accept. However, that's because the invitation usually is followed up by them respectfully decline, especially if you start explaining folks' naked tendencies, the baked tofu at the potluck, and how steep/rocky/hot/cold/bear-infested the proposed hike is...
Comment By crystal, 8-11-06I'm so glad that someone else has my perspective on being single here, so many ups and downs, a real roller coaster. Happy to know I have sympathetic sisters out there :}
Comment By Radiohead, 8-11-06What a great idea. Some ideas for weekly polls: Best potluck dish, Friendliest Waitress at OPP, Where Else Have You Seen the Out To Lunch Hippie Dancers? (answers next week)
Comment By Tim, 8-11-06I often put out on the Blackfoot farther down than I expect just because I'm enjoying the ride. If I don't want to walk back I call someone to (hopefully) come get me. Some days you just want to float forever.
Comment By x, 8-12-06You gals are choosing to go under pseudonyms. I can see convenience of that.
Readers sometimes choose to do so for various perhaps similar reasons. I recall a few staff (and other reader) challenges or criticisms of that in the past threads. I didnt agree with that then and if you can go that route, so can others.
For reporting- names and responsibilty, certainly.
For blogging / riffing folks will do what they prefer. I evaluate what is said and rarely know enough to do much evaluation of the who.
Congratulations! The articles by the girls were great.
Comment By Little Sis, 8-14-06Radiohead-
Our goal is that you know well enough to evaluate us - that's why this column is fun! The pseudonym is so you don't know us well enough to let the air out of my bike tires if you recognize yourself as the target of a sardonic analysis in my writing. . .
In a county of 100,000 people hopefully it won't focus on just the haunts and style choices of the same small % of total but I guess write about what you know. Two sis's. Maybe add a bro or at least think about if you are giving the guys side /view of life enough exposure. Or maybe a guy should do their own column, official or in unfiltered section.
Anoynomous and sardonic is fine by me. But if you happen to drift to simplistic or cheapshot folks will call you on it. Same as it ever was.
Maybe stories about women that choose Missoula but secretly wish it was more like Seattle or LA, or wish the guys werent as outdoors oriented and more career oriented could be fun reads / targets of some of the humor too...
Comment By x, 8-14-06Of course the first story already reads that way to me at least partly.
Look forward to the stories about how wild you get or folks you know. A lot of women think they are (still) wild. Most do a good job of hiding that, so revelation sounds interesting. Some can really surprise and do it up good...some talk bigger than they do.
But good luck with the new venture. I really just don't want to yawn.
For what it is worth I looked at a few numbers
Missoula county close to 100,000 people but
age 25-44 28,000
or about 14,000 for each sex
not married pulls it down to 7,000
at least some college (if that is a requirement) probably pulls it down to about 4,000
assume half to two-thirds are in some sort of relationship or not presently looking pulls it down to 1-2,000
smoker or need to be willing to accept a smoker and lots of other things (looks, money, party politcal or otherwise, attitude, etc.) probably does pull this down to a few hundred.
Good luck to those looking.
And thanks for volunteering to try to help.
If you know any nonsmoking, over 30 women who like the outdoors about every other weekend (not all the time and not rarely) with a good job (and preferably a house), no kids and isn't driven to want them herself, likes some space and gives it too, goodhearted and wild, likes to laugh and isnt a perfectionist, give a shout out where they are at.
Comment By x, 8-14-06Easy to get frustrated but looking at a few of things that surfaced from a guys point of view: many women want an outdoor guy then dont want to spend that much time outdoors and criticize the guy if he still does; want exciting times but turn down a lot of offers to go that direction; expect economic security to be brought to them but seem surprised or unwilling for it to work both ways. Everybody got a list of wants and must haves- when they match, great. Conform totally to somebody else dream isnt for everybody. Compromise is voluntary, should be mutual, given and meant, not chipped at.
But I guess the "forum, an exploration, and an interactive tool", the "big, communal orgy for learning", where "We’d like to invite your participation" hasnt really started yet so I'll step back for awhile.
There are good catches of course for both sexes but neither thinks there are enough to make things completely obvious and easy. Sometimes you have to pan in the river a little to find your gemstone.
Comment By Big Sis, 8-15-06Nice numbers, x. I'm glad someone actually proved mathematically that there really ARE only a "few hundred" single folks in Missoula. Luckily, that's enough to keep us busy with a "pan the river" for a bit, right?
Thanks for keeping it interactive.
Glad you found the numbers useful. Thought I'd make an early run being interactive to get fresh tracks and encourage others to take the plunge.
I'll be on the sundeck peoplewatching now.
I respect your ideas for a new column. I guess it's one more place to hear about people talk about being single and doggin' on the people that are attached. It's a good way to hear perspectives from both lifestyles. Being single is an amazing time in life....you have the option and opportunities to do whatever you want. There are not any conflicts of interests, schedules to be concerned with, feelings to consider, or errands to run for someone else. On the other hand, being attached is a wonderful feeling of companionship, friendship, love and trust. Both worlds have their pros and cons. I have ridden the single's roller coaster and the attached roller coaster. I am currently attached and really enjoy it but it took a long time to achieve what I have now. Sometimes I get the short end of the stick from my single friends for being attached but hey, I have consistent sex, someone to travel with, someone to tell me they love me and a best friend. So, in the midst of being single, remain open-minded and non-judgemental towards your attached friends. All-in-all, we are in the roller coaster together, just on different tracks! peace.
Comment By emily, 8-20-06I think it's fun to read about the single life even though I'm not single anymore. We all go through that and it's unforgettable. Best to make it funny.
Comment By L, 9-20-06Thanks for the article, its nice to know there are other singles in town. I'll keep checking for updates. Moving here from out of state, single and not knowing a soul, its difficult to remember there are others out there. Let us know if you are going to get the 100 or so singles together for a party, it could be a good time.
Comment By miarosa, 9-23-06Whew!!! I was starting to womder if the single Missoulian male was totally extinct!!
Considering it is so hard to find singles in the area, why are there no speed dating or singles events to be found?? Folks like me who migrated here from higher populations and have had little time for social interaction need some way to meet sane singles to develop relationships with... not just dating either... it would be great to just meet some girls to hang out and see movies with.