Making It In Missoula
Missoula’s Nearby Hot Springs: How to Meet Naked Montanans
By Big Sis, 11-01-06
This Halloween I’ve determined that my best costume is my birthday suit. No one seems to recognize you when you’re buck naked. Maybe it’s because they aren’t really looking at your face.This theory was proved at Jerry Johnson Hot Springs this weekend by our housemate, Rad Roomie, when she accompanied Little Sis and me on a rejuvenating soak in the woods. We entered a pool already occupied by two strangers, and discovered only after we exited and dressed that Rad Roomie had recently met the husband of the couple.
There aren’t many situations where you meet new people without your clothes on. But due to the plethora of backcountry natural hot springs in this part of the world, I’ve had the opportunity to meet dozens of fabulous Montanans (and even some nice enough Idahoans) in the buff—and nowhere near the bedroom.
J.J., for instance, is a hot spot not just for water, but also for interesting conversations and fascinating naked people. It’s truly a study in human wildlife.
And, since this region seems to be a social vortex, you’ll often realize you already know (or know others who know) the humans frolicking with you in the warm, muddy holes.
J.J. is the closest natural hot springs to Missoula when heading west from Lolo on Highway 12, and also the most accessible of the nearby soaking spots (hence the random assortment of naked people). After a mellow walk through a mile of lush cedar and fir trees, my roomies and I came upon the first pool at the bottom of a waterfall. The hottest and most exotic pool, it was of course filled with folks. We moved past the crowded next level, too, which features a large hot pool and then several “cop-a-squat” puddles.
This left us with the cooler pool with the coolest view. Though the scenery and sun were nice trade-offs for the luke-warm water, we actually chose this pool because the couple lounging in it seemed the least threatening of the other options down below: two large hairy hunters or the three patchouli-wafting hippies. This Helena couple exuded PLU vibes (people like us).
The woman was a mailwoman-turned-massage-therapist/yoga-instructor, and her husband was an activist/politician-turned-brewery-owner. I soon discovered he is responsible for making my favorite beer on earth, the Blackfoot River IPA. Not only did I get the recipe for how to homebrew this IPA, Rad Roomie discovered she had many acquaintances in common with our new naked friends. Plus, they’d met two days before.
"Oh, yeah—I totally remember you, now that you put your clothes on!” said Rad Roomie. “I was sitting in your brewery a couple days ago when Walt and Brian walked in.”
So, while you might picture hot springs as a romantic and private adventure, I’m here to dash your hopes. Expect people. Expect random encounters with naked strangers. Expect to feel slightly awkward and fairly exposed. Expect to laugh about it later.
The only time my friends and I had the whole hot springs to ourselves was my first trip to J.J. This is also the trip that convinced me that Montana is: a) WAY different than southern California, and b) a place I will be staying for a long, long time.
The reason we didn’t see any other folks was because we hiked in at 2 a.m. on a very cold night. The reasons I instantly fell in love with the place were: a) the moon-dappled cedars, and b) it was just me, lots of hot water, and a Subaru-load of fun guys. But that’s a story for another time.
Here are some of the best lines from my last few visits to local hot springs:
“Um, my husband forgot to pack my bathing suit,” said a naked woman (tongue-in-cheek) as she entered a pool full of modestly clad folks at J.J.
“Are you really sure we should take off our clothes now?” Little Sis asked me on her first trip to J.J. from somewhere behind a blizzard of ferociously falling snow.
“Hey, can you take a picture of me?” the Creeper (an older dude clad only in a giant hat and broken glasses) asked my friend Hot Mama at Goldbug. She responded in a slightly horrified voice, “Don’t you want to sit down first?”
“Are you girls ‘springers’ too? I hit all these hot pots every few months—you know, to release my toxins?” the Hippie RV Driver at Weir. My response was, “Ew.”
“Don’t worry. My girlfriend slays rattlesnakes,” a pretty woman with a baby told us as her girlfriend picked up a monstrous rock to chuck at a snake lounging near a pool. My friend Artesania’s response was to run like hell past the decapitated snake.
“Last time I was here, a mule exploded,” a grizzled hunter told me six miles in the backcountry at Stanley hot springs. I didn’t respond.
Post Script: In tandem with the above reference to bigwig politicians, I'd like to send a belated shout-out to Missoula Mayor, John Engen, who celebrated his birthday last Friday. Rock on, John.
Read the previous Making It In Missoula column: Tailgating in Many Forms [End of article]
Yep. As they say, Montana is a small town with long roads. Its nice, as long as your not trying to be anonymus;)
Comment By Big Sis, 11-01-06Long, windy roads indeed, Roomie. But they lead to good places and good people.
I've definitely given up on most illusions of anonymity...secrets are overrated anyway, right?
BS (an interesting abbreviation, eh?)
Isn't Jerry Johnson actually in Idaho? One point of interest I found online is that Idaho has the most natural hot springs of any state.
Comment By Ted, 11-01-06Shit burger!
Comment By Mark, 11-01-06You have just given me the first reason I've ever had to want to visit Montana. One day, I think I will.
Regards from Canuckistan.
JJ is in fact in Idaho, so is Wier. You wouldn't know it by the pools populations most days. Last time I was at Wier, it was packed so full of Missoula kids my buddy and I had to sit around for about two hours for a spot. Though, we did soak all night after everyone else went to bed. In the rain and snow. To the tune of cubensis.
God I miss home.
Article is useless without pics.
Comment By Naked Soaker, 11-02-06Usually, it's a bad thing for writers to write about hot springs, as the springs already have all the soakers they can handle. But JJ and Weir are so far gone that the additional voyeurs joining the thousands of hippies and hunters who pee there will make little difference (and yes, it IS Idaho, but closer to Lolo MT than to any Idaho town). Outside of a rainy weeknight in winter, you're bound to run into crowds of all the types described above (though Big Sis she left out the packs of local high-schoolers with cases of beer.)
Unfortuantely one effect of this story will be the continued attraction of another group not mentioned here -- the run-of-the-mill horny 40- or 50-something man, who like Mark from Canuckistan above, seem too emotionally primitive to be around naked people without getting all flustered. Note to all of you: Most people at hot springs, including and maybe especially naked chicks, come to the springs to avoid people, not to meet people, and especially not to meet old men with beer guts.
I've spent many frustrated minutes trying to explain to friends back East that most of the people in Hot Springs are naked, but not "nudists," that the clothibng-optional environment is not connected with some kind of free-love lifestyle or mentality We're not people who go out of our way to be naked around other people, and we're not there to be exhibitionists. (Besides, a swimsuit would get flithy from all the mud particles floating in most of the JJ and Weir pools.) It's frustrating and threatening when dumb****s start thinking sexually about the naked people they meet at springs. People need to grow up.
This story, excellent thought it is, unfortunately will attract the wrong crowd to NW hot springs, plus horny ambitious forest rangers, plus local moralists. And "Ducks" above with his goddam camera.
Very good point. It is in Idaho. But, for those of you from the Northern Rockies, don't you always know somebody's sister or best friend from Lander or Sheridan WY, or Ketchum ID anyway? I feel like the same "long-roads-small-town" experience applies here as well, at least in my experience.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure JJ has long been discovered, and I don't think this article could possibly attract any more soakers. But for those "wrong-crowd" types referenced above- a little advice. The sisters and I are hiddeous old crones, complete with spider webs and webbed feet. No point in lookin'.
Thanks, Pine and Alaskaho, for pointing out that Weir and JJ hot springs are in Idaho. Though I know there's an imaginary line at Lolo Pass separating the states, I tend to forget about it right after I see the small sign.
I agree with the comments that Weir and JJ are already "too far gone," and I don't think this story will necessarily multiply the visiting hordes. But I do, for the record, struggle with writing about any special place--hot springs, trails, swimming holes, etc. It's a fine line between sharing a place, caring for it, and ruining it with exposure.
I also think Naked Soaker hit the nail on the head above with: "Most people at hot springs, including and maybe especially naked chicks, come to the springs to avoid people, not to meet people..." Exactly!!! I expressed a similar sentiment to Rad Roomie on our walk in, along the lines of: "I don't like Weir because you have to interact with people, and I prefer avoiding them like the plague."
Unfortunately, it's often necessary to share special places. Although I selfishly prefer to have a private soak with a friend or two, I tried to point out in this story that it's not always a bad thing to interact with other human wildlife sharing a hot spring pool. Or is it?
Thanks for the comments,
Big Sis
And, yes, we do have webbed feet, hooked noses, and awful acne...definitely worth avoiding us in our birthday suits.
Thanks for pointing that out, Roomie.
BS
It's good to hear that J.J. hot springs and Weir are still accessiable to the publc. In your article you mention having gone there in the wee hours of the morning. Back in the early 90's the powers that be PROHIBITED the use at night and early morning. Has this changed?
There had been the "young and dumb" partying up there and a rape was reported.
I've never seen any "powers that be" near either hot springs, Oldmissoula. But it could well be prohibited to visit during certain hours...I'm not sure how anyone would enforce this, though. I believe you're not allowed to camp at JJ, however, but can camp at Weir.
BS
Delightful story of the hot springs or shoul I say 'the people of the springs'. We have the same privalege to meet and greet at our favorite springs here in Oregon near the mountain town of Oakridge.
Soak on.
Naked Soaker sounds like someone who should leave their clothes on in, that's right, PUBLIC. Relax you geek, there are no secret spots anymore thanks to the USGS. Want a private hot pool? Buy a spa. Three thousand bucks buys a lot of privacy.
Comment By Lola, 11-03-06Naked soaker...relax. You must have a hard time in life when mild comments like "ducks" send you into a spit splattering tither about leering men. I thought it was funny.
Comment By S, 5-25-08It would be nice to be able to actually sit in the hotsprings after hiking in 2 miles, but they are full of people who take them over the entire day with families and friends and coolers full of beer to tide them over the entire day!
At the same time, it would be nice to hike in and not feel uncomfortable about nude naked young women stealing my man's gaze. It is hard enough to accept myself as I am in my mid 30's and having had a couple children and a few abdominal surguries. Nature is about nurture, not about strippers who want to steal other women's men. It was not fun when we went a few days ago and a very young girl was constantly flirting with and staring at my man. I guess JJ is now a stripclub/whorehouse now.
At the same time, I realize this man is not worth my time; but still, people who hike into nature for hotsprings should be a lot more respectful than to try and steal a lady's husband and her pride.