Game Day in Missoula: Why OSU’s Got Nothin’ on Josh Swogger

By Little Sis, 11-21-06

Lines out the door of grocery stores with people holding as many cases of cheap beer, chips, and burger buns as possible. You might think an impending natural disaster had been announced, except that everyone is so unusually cheerful at 9:00 am on a Saturday.

Painted faces, a sea of maroon dotted with a spray of yellow, and not a parking place in sight within a mile of downtown.

Fraternity boys relentlessly singing every hour on the hour at the grizzly bear on campus, in a determined attempt to create a bizarre new tradition while onlookers wear highly puzzled looks on their faces.

What inspires this chaos?

GAME DAY. Griz vs. Cats.

Yep, Saturday was the biggest day in college football since the season started. What better excuse to drink beer before noon? Red’s Bar seemed like a good option, since the Press Box was rumored to resemble Disneyland in hell. The dedicated fans congregated at 11:30 am, with the hung-over crowd straggling in after kickoff.

With countless TVs in the bar, we had the option to watch the historic rivalry between the Griz and the Bobcats, or the historic rivalry between the two top-ranked teams in the nation, OSU and Michigan. And of course, if you didn’t care about history, you could watch Notre Dame run circles around the poor Army team (we’re still not sure why this game was taking up a valuable television set).

At the risk of being shot by die-hard Griz fans, here’s the problem with these matchups being shown side-by-side. The OSU-Michigan showdown lived up to everyone’s expectations of a game played ferociously to the end with several plays that belonged in the NFL.

It must be admitted that, next to The Game, the Griz-Cat matchup looked more like a high school game, with the film quality, ridiculous amount of turnovers and incomplete passes, and our friends doing the commentating. (I’m well-aware of how many people I’m offending here.)

But then, that’s why Griz football is so much fun. It’s much more accessible than, say, the Rose Bowl, and it’s a good excuse to get the entire town out for a common cause and drink Bloody Marys. Game Day in Missoula is always an unparalleled event, and Saturday was the pinnacle of the season.

Griz gear was in abundance, and so, surprisingly, was MSU gear. In fact, Red’s seemed to be split down the middle. Storied rivalries are kept legendary by loyal-to-the-death fans on either side who are determined that their team is so obviously better than the other team that they refuse to even acknowledge the opposing fans’ misguided loyalty.

Not so in Montana. The table full of neighboring MSU fans was annoyingly friendly, disappointingly un-provocative, and discussed plays with us in a civilized manner. And all the MSU fans remained mysteriously cheerful in the face of their team’s loss in the heart of Griz territory.

In L.A., our cross-town rivalry is so vicious that we would never even think to directly address an opposing fan except to insult the muscle capacity of their quarterback. In fact, my hatred of the rival team manifests itself strongly in numerous expletives, derogatory comments about the students’ intelligence, and overall bashing of the school in general.

I’ll just say it: UCLA and USC don’t get along. I bet Booty really got it when he was little, but it’s nothing compared to what UCLA fans throw at him for that unfortunate last name. No, it doesn’t matter that we haven’t beaten them in five years. And no, we’re never bitter that we beat them in basketball twice every year but don’t get the coverage because it doesn’t bring in as much money as football. Yep, that’s what legendary rivalries are all about: pride and bitterness.

Of course, Game Day wasn’t over with the Griz victory. We, the dedicated football fans, stayed to watch the end of the Ohio State game, then went for the obligatory greasy game-day food, and headed to a friend’s house to implement our latest great idea.

We pulled out the old TV and hooked it up so that we had two TVs on which to navigate the next four games we all wanted to watch. Whatever game was more exciting at the moment merited the main TV, while other games were relegated to the sidekick TV. In this sports-bar like atmosphere, we were able to flip between Rutgers, Louisville, USC-Cal, and UCLA. Genius. Now we can’t wait for March Madness. We’ll start focusing on it right after the Trojans go down to Notre Dame this weekend and the Griz hold the 1AA Title.

For those of you looking for the dating/love aspect of this column, here you go: Josh Swogger’s right up there with Notre Dame’s Brady Quinn on the hot quarterback scale. John Booty smells.

Quote of the week:
“I’m not making fun of them. I’m just pointing things out.”

Question of the week:
How far will you go for your team?
[End of article]