Adventures in Valentines: Bracing for the 14th in Missoula

By Little Sis, 2-05-07

Valentine’s Day: horrible joke constructed by florists and chocolate makers to perpetrate on single people, or a legitimate excuse to lavish love and attention on your significant other (even if that happens to be your dog, because you’re single)?

I’m not afraid to say it, and I’ll say it to stand in solidarity with my single sisters out there.  I’ve spent significantly more Valentine’s Days without a male valentine than with one.  I’ve come to view February 14 as a time to spend with girlfriends all dressed up to take ourselves out for several bottles of wine, determined not to feel sorry for ourselves in the midst of all the happy couples.

Honestly, I think of Valentine’s Day lately more as a show of solidarity in the strength of being alone, and it should never be thought of as an invalidation of single status, because the occasion is essentially an artificial construct.  Unfortunately, I’ve only come to that realization after 25 years.  I wish women could reach it after just 15 or 16.  Or maybe right when they become interested in the opposite sex.

I remember unsuccessful Valentine’s Day all the way back to fifth grade, when I had an immense crush on the cutest, smartest boy in class (at the time, I was chubby with glasses, so I was definitely more of a friend-type than fifth-grade crush material).  I made him an elaborate valentine with red and pink construction paper, figuring I could slip it in his valentine bag anonymously during all the exchange confusion.  Of course I was too chicken and it stayed hidden in my desk all year until I could safely dispose of it without anyone catching me.

Remember when you made a valentine for everyone in class and then exchanged them at a party loaded with sugar?  Those were the days, full of simplicity.  Then high school hit, and you were lucky if you had any single friends left, let alone were able keep track of who they were dating at the moment.

I, unfortunately, was the girl that never even had a date to a dance unless I did the asking, so I was definitely out of the valentine loop in high school.  My dad is still adamant that it’s because the boys were intimidated.  I’m adamant that I was a nerd and not as good of a dresser as my girlfriends.

In college, I received my first box of chocolates from a boy.  I was down the hall in the dorm shower and he left it on my desk.  I think we made out once after that and I enjoyed the chocolate a lot more than his kissing style.  They were pretty high quality.

Last year, my girlfriend desperately called to ask me to accompany her to dinner at a guy’s house who she wasn’t sure about.  Of course the guy had invited a friend too, and it was an awkward double date that ended with my girlfriend and I begging off when they insisted on going to Feruqi’s after dinner. . .  Most people in Missoula spend Valentine’s Day at the Red Bird or Scotty’s, and we weren’t about to waste our night at one of the most notoriously sleazy bars in town.  I think we went and ate ice cream together instead. . .

This year, I think I’ll just go skiing.  And share a bottle of wine with my best friend and spend time with her 2-month-old son, who graciously agreed to be both of our valentines. (Actually, it’s kind of hard to tell, he just burped when we asked.  He’s already turning into a man. . .)

This brings us to our February You Made It Contest.  We’re sick of hearts and chocolate.  We want to hear about something different, when you had unconditional fun with or without a lover.  Tell us about your best adventure, best blow-up, faux pas, or surprise.  The bottle of wine and bouquet will go to the best story that falls outside of traditional Hallmark expectations.  The winner will be announced on Wednesday, February 28, and the bottle and bouquet will be hand-delivered!

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