Save the Coffee, What I’d Really Like is Your Network

By Liz Ryan, 5-11-07

I get a little mini-buzz when I’ve been corresponding with someone online (or sharing observations with them on an email group) and I find that they are local. Then, we can get together in person and get to know one another.

This happened a couple of weeks ago. I saw some posts that a gentleman had written on an online networking forum, and I wrote to him directly (off-list). I said “I just realized that you are in Denver. Would you like to get together for coffee?”

He wrote back. Here’s what he said. “Let’s connect on LinkedIn. Didn’t you see my invitation to connect, months ago?” I guess I missed it. I get a lot of those.

He wants to connect on LinkedIn. Forget the coffee! Here is the message embedded in his email reply: “Who wants to know you? I want to have access to your contacts on LinkedIn, and if you and I become direct connections, that’s what I’ll get.” The fact that we are both in the Denver area now has no significance at all. You can connect to a LinkedIn user located anywhere in the world.

Talk about a values statement. The gentleman said “Let’s connect on LinkedIn.” No mention of coffee. No mention of a phone chat or even more email correspondence! He’s got a name and an email address - that’s all you need to become connected to someone on LinkedIn.

There are Open Connectors on LinkedIn who want to connect to as many people as they can. I don’t use the site that way, but those people are entitled to their approach. But this connections-over-coffee stance is rude. It says “Who wants to know YOU? I just want connections to people who can fog a mirror.”