THE FIRST STEP IS ADMITTING YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
A Twelve Step Program for Fishaholics
By Bill Schneider, 7-12-07
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Most people find it difficult to admit they have a problem, and when they do, they confess only to a good friend or relative.
Not me. I’m fortunate enough to be in a position to admit it to everybody who uses the Internet. You could call it an Almost True Confession.
I have a problem. I’m a fishaholic. I can’t get fishing out of my mind. I think about it 20 times every day. I can’t concentrate on my work. I dream about it. I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat after losing a dream fish. I’ve tried everything to cure myself, even going cold turkey for two whole weeks, but one trip down to the Man Room to visit my flies and lures, and I’m hooked again.
For decades, I’ve been in denial about my dependency, but now, finally, for the good of my loved ones and friends, I’ve decided to deal with it.
I heard about the famous Twelve Step Program that has helped so many addicts, so I checked it out and made a few minor modifications, and viola, I created a step-bystep program for rehabilitating fishaholics.
I know I’m not alone. I’ve met many others at boat ramps and fly shops, so I thought I should share the new program insead of keeping it to myself.
Twelve Steps to a Normal Fishing Life
Step 1: Admit that you are powerless to control your urge to fish and buy more fishing gear including all that stuff you don’t need and has no chance of catching a fish; that your addiction hurts those around you; that your life has become unmanageable because of it; and that you’ve hit bottom, bankrupt, friendless, jobless, mired in dispair.
Step 2: Start to believe that only a Higher Power greater than all of us, the Fishing God, can cure this insanity.
Step 3: Make a decision to turn over your life over to the care of the Fishing God.
Step 4: Make a fearless inventory of yourself, detailing all your deficiencies and paying special attention to stashes of lures, flies and nightcrawlers that should be in the refrigerator.
Step 5: Admit first to yourself, then to the Fishing God and then to a loved one or close friend, the exact nature of your wrongdoings, out loud, shamelessly, unrestrained. That means all the laughable exaggerations about the length of your fish, the lame excuses to your spouse about why you needed a new boat or rod, and those reprehensible lies to your boss about why you weren’t coming into work.
Step 6: Ready yourself to ask the Fishing God to cleanse away all of defects in your character. And be sure to allow a lot of time for this.
Step 7: Humbly request that the Fishing God erase your shortcomings. Again, allow lots of time for this.
Step 8: Make a list of all persons you have harmed with your defects and wrongdoings and lies and become willing to make amends to all of them.
Step 9: Make direct amends to all these people. This will require even more time, at least several months.
Step 10: Should you forget and fall from grace and return to your shameful ways, commit to make amends immediately after your future misdeeds. This may add an hour or so to each day you go fishing, but it’s allowable to make amends to your fishing buddies in the saloon after a long day on the river.
Step 11: Commit to maintain your improved character and devotion to the Fishing God. Otherwise, He will continue to frown upon you and send you home fishless day after day after day.
Step 12: Have a spiritual awakening as the result of taking these steps and carry this message to other fishaholics you meet along the river or on the lake.
[End of article]In order to "scale" back on fish thoughts, do we really have to "fin"ish all 12 steps? Since we have to buy a license and can ony keep fish of a certain size, does that make them hookers? I'll have my trout on the rocks with a green leech. My addiction started at age 4 when my dad would carry my brother and me in on his shoulders to bearver dams on Livermore and the South Fork of Milk River to fish for brookies. At age 7 he had me learing to toss a fly with practice on the bald prarie. If only more kids had a father like I had. Here's how bad my addiction is. There is a stretch on the Marias where my brother and I go with both shotgun and rod. We hunt a bend then pick up our rods to fish for either fall browns or walleye. Walking out with both walleyes and ringnecks I think qualifies for treatment of obsessive compulsive behavior.
Comment By Nick D, 7-12-07I share your affliction. My girlfriend has actually been cheering the recent river closures.
Comment By Jill Kuraitis, 7-12-07Bill, does this work for collecting hundreds of yards of pretty fabrics, cutting it up into little geometric pieces and sewing them back together into pretty geometric squares? I dream about it. I wake up at night in a cold sweat about a square of fabric I didn't buy and it got away. I'm ashamed of sneaking into the house with more fabric I don't need and I own many expensive gadgets for cutting up more fabric. I have a problem, and I know I'm not alone. I meet more addicts at quilt shops and shows, furtively glancing around to hide the evidence of their purchases. What can your program do for me?
Comment By Sneaux, 7-12-07Hmmm - do you suppose I could adjust this for being a skiaholic?
Comment By patbob, 7-12-07The first step includes wanting to change. I'm out...
Comment By Craig Moore, 7-12-07patbob, noone gets to change without answering this question:
A dogfish will-
1. eat skates,
2. chase catfish,
3. bark at the mailman,
4. go on point when peacock bass are present,
5. fetch sticks, or
6. or take a hunk out of the backside of Bob Wire?
It has not been that difficult for me but i can understand the wrecked relationships that this addiction has caused. it is partly responsible for my last breakup. fortunately, that has meant freedom to roam the wilds with a good dog and more education. it takes time but with a devotion to understanding adjacent terrestrial systems, i am getting over it. I have recently been evaluating riparian habitats for my thesis and as such, spend 10 hours most days among sites with waters abounding with trout. believe me, the thoughts those brilliantly colored fish and delicate mayflies being attacked are difficult to purge from the mind. however, i must remind myself that the remainder of life around me is just as fascinating, the complications of which can be revealed without all the waders, boots, rods, etc. just some bug dope and field guides. anyway, the critter i am considering does not care if there are fish or not in that stream. the rods are dusty at camp. nevertheless, my days afield this summer have been just as satisfying as any weekend spent floating and casting our western rivers.
the bug is still there and maybe i have lied. i drive to Jackson tomorrow and can't help but think about stopping for a bit on the New Fork, Green, Hoback, Snake, Gros Ventre . . . On return, the Wind, Bull Lake Cr, Gray Reef, Encampment. Damnit, no time. i want to fish again. what happened to the good life. 20" bighorn browns . . .
i used to play golf. was pretty good and more or less, addicted. I quit. no 12 steps, just cold turkey due to migration. out here though, golf is a joke, a waste of water and money, something you can do when retired. sure, i missed it but am over that. no withdraw, no lust for Augusta azaleas.
but Fishing is different! the fishing is phenominal wherever you live. you can't escape them. they will always be there and they require your endurance, patience, and skill. all qualities that make one feel truely alive. smallies, reds, stripers, steelhead.
maybe bill is right. worse than birders and they are called weird.
Fishing is a time-honored American pastime, but it is threatened by the development of new coal-fired power plants. Coal plants emit large amounts of mercury into the air, which then becomes concentrated in fish and other waterfowl. 47 of the 50 states have mercury advisories, and this number will only increase unless we take action!
There has never been a more important time to stand up against the development of more dirty coal. New coal plants that are built will operate for approximately 50-60 years, adding carbon dioxide, mercury, sulfur dioxide, nitrogen oxides and other small particulates to the air we breathe. In addition, coal plants use massive amounts of water - an average 1,500 MW plant uses 10 million gallons per day - that the arid West simply cannot afford to lose. New technologies have eliminated the need for new coal plants, and it is possible to meet the energy needs of the West through energy efficiency measures, renewable energy and, if absolutely necessary, new coal technologies like IGCC with carbon capture.
Stand up and show the utilities that you do not want or need a new coal fired power plant.
Here are five things you can do:
1. Submit comments to the BIA and tell the agency what you think about proposed Desert Rock coal-fired power plant (Must arrive by August 20th).
2. Encourage your friends, neighbors and family to write a letter too.
3. Attend a public hearing and bring two people with you. The more people that attend the meeting the stronger the message will be to the BIA that New Mexicans don¢t want Sithe's dirty coal plant.
4. Write a letter to the editor of your local paper, a blog, or a list-serve expressing your concern about the proposed Desert Rock coal plant.
5. Demand national legislation that would move the entire country away from coal.
Check out http://www.sanjuancitizens.org/air/desertrock.shtml to get the schedule for the public hearings and find out more information about Desert Rock. Protect the air we breathe and the earth we depend on by making your voice heard!
Karen, more immediate threats are from high water temperatures and low stream flows. See: http://www.newwest.net/index.php/city/article/montana_fishing_closure_roundup/C396/L396/
Comment By mike, 7-14-07Yes, I'm afraid that we're not going to need any twelve step program if the high temperatures and low water levels continue and the problem is extending past MT and Yellowstone. MT and Yellowstone are just the most carefully watched, protected, and reported fisheries. The problem is picking up steam to run in a wide band southwest from MT and Yellowstone down through parts of ID, UT, NV, and AZ, roughly following the heat and lingering hydrologic drought. Not only are we losing fish themselves, summer is when we get good aquatic and terrestrial insect development and when the fish stock up, particularly with hoppers and stoneflies and other larger chunks, on protein for later reproduction.
Comment By Craig Moore, 7-14-07Western state populations are exploding. Cali is said to hit 60 million in the future. I wonder where are the studies that forecast the water requirements for all of this humanity and how in the hell is it going to be available and still have a little left over for fish and wildlife. Matching the carrying capacitiy of available Western water to population is critical if we are to avoid a castrophe not only for the fish, but for humanity. Not one politician on 4 legs or two are standing up to this looming crisis. Until then, catch and release between sunrise and noon.
Comment By Craig Moore, 7-14-07By the way the correct answer to the question is "skates." They are a Chondrichthye like the dogfish.
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