Not a war story; just a mother's story

The Goddesses of Sen. Mike Crapo’s Staff

By Jill Kuraitis, 10-24-07

For a few short hours yesterday, I didn’t know if my son was dead or alive. It was a military incident, and a vague news report had enough hints in it that I could tell the tragedy had happened in place where my son easily could have been.

But I wasn’t thinking about hints or could-haves. I catastrophized myself into a barely-controlled state of wide-eyed terror. Breathing was something I had to remember to do.

After a useless computer search, I started calling the few military phone numbers I have. Nobody knew anything.

Then I thought of Sen. Mike Crapo. I don’t like his politics, and he wouldn’t like mine, but I like him – he’s my idea of a real gentleman. Back in the day when he was pro tem of the Idaho Senate, I was staff for the Senate Democrats, and often witnessed his kind nature.

Remembering that yesterday, I called a friend in Sen. Crapo’s office, who put me onto staffer Linda Norris. Linda switched into mother mode and knew I needed a mother’s response. “Here is what I will do,” she said, with firm conviction. She said that a call back was just minutes away from someone in Crapo’s North Idaho office; someone who really knew her military stuff.

The call came in less than five minutes. Linda put me on the line with their splendid constituent goddess Karen, who wasted no time and was absolutely comforting. She had me rattle off my son’s vitals and military ID stuff and promised to have an answer “very, very soon.”

Karen left me in no doubt that Someone Was Looking Into This. Someone with a sense of urgency. It was fantastic how those two blessed women knew that when a military mom calls in a panic, it is swift action which will help most.

Friend Kit came over, let me sob just a bit more, then kicked my ass into coping mode. She has that gift. Everybody needs a Kit – she’s that four-in-the-morning friend, the one who’ll drop everything and be there without question.  We busied ourselves cleaning up the kitchen, making coffee, and checking CNN every few nanoseconds. 

Amazingly, Karen called back in less than 40 minutes and wasted no time with trivia. I said hello and she said, “It’s not your son. He’s not listed.  I talked to someone who would absolutely know this.”

I froze a moment, determined not to collapse. I had no words with which to thank her, only just those, thank you, which I repeated until I was babbling.  Karen stayed on the line with me, waiting for me to feel it was time to hang up. Her competence and compassion and skill is something I’ll never forget.

In an election year, it’s often overlooked that winning political campaigns turn into government offices which serve the people. A lot of what a senators field staff does resembles my story, although most are not so easy. They may try to help a farmer whose crop has failed, or track down a scholarship for a deserving kid, or help a widow collect her social security or pension.  All Congressbeings have staff who do nothing but constituent service, and they don’t ask if you voted for their boss.

The particular hell of thinking you may have lost your child can’t compare with the hell of the parents who have lost children to this unspeakable war, and I do not mean to imply that. Nor do I mean to start a debate about who-stands-where on the war.

This is just a mother’s story.  I’d like to leave it there, with thanks to Karen, Linda, Lindsay and Senator Crapo.

[End of article]
Comment By Sisyphus, 10-24-07

Excellent news all the way around. Good for Crapo and his staff. Still very skeptical anyone would get this kind of constituent service from a Senator Risch.

Comment By Sharon Fisher, 10-24-07

whew!

Comment By Mary Rohlfing, 10-24-07

Thanks, Jill, for giving a good nod where a good nod is due.
And I'm glad for your family.
May your boy come home safe and come home soon.

Comment By Lydia, 10-24-07

Wow, I'm so glad he's alright. And I'm glad you knew where to go for information. What an awful feelign that must have been -- glad you got through to someone who could relate and fix it.

I'm so sorry for the moms who didn't hear good news, though.

Comment By Julie Fanselow, 10-24-07

Whew. Jill, my heart goes out to you, to know your son is safe.

I am pretty sure I knew Linda Norris from way back in my early TF days, when I was a reporter there. She impressed me then, and I am doubly impressed now.

Comment By Grumpy ole man, 10-24-07

Jill, I share your sense of relief and am glad for your son. When we were waiting for our passports while visiting a daughter in Virginia we, too availed ourselves of the good offices of Senator Crapo. We went to his DC office and could not have been treated with better service from his staff. They were able to light to correct fire and did so. We got our passports literally just hours before we were due to leave the country. Nothing as worrisome as your experience; but treatement which was, and is, appreciated. Peter Fisher was the person who helped us.

Comment By Marion, 10-25-07

Jill, we don't agree on many things, but I fully understand the terror you went thru. My grandson was in Falluja whiel we were taking it. My heart goes out to you as you try to deal with this. I am so glad that the Senators office was able to not only get you good news, but get it fast.

Comment By Vincent, 10-25-07

Jill:

Great to see that it was not your child. As a Democrat I do have to say that Mike Crapo is less partisan than Craig, Simpson. He is the only educated politician representing us in Washington. And he does know that if he doesn't take care of something as important as your issue that the media would be on his case. He is smart.

Comment By peter webster, 10-25-07

This brought tears to my eyes. A few years ago I lost my son—not in the war, but in a stupid accident in Portland; I can't tell you the wrenching dread of not being sure...Ah, what's there to say. Prayers for your son and all the children in this goddam war.

Comment By Jim Monihan, 10-25-07

Jill, you and I may go "toe-to-toe" on politics, but that all pales to a mothers concern for her children (down the block at the park, or on the other side of the world getting shot at). For me, it puts all this petty politics in perspective. May God continue to bless you and yours. I am glad your news was good.

Comment By Erik S., 10-26-07

Jill, the story you recounted was painful but I am happy and relieved of the ending. I hope that we can all be relieved soon when our loved ones can all return home.

Comment By 6degrees, 10-26-07

First Jill, let me also add my joy that your son is still OK. Also, a big thumbs up to the staff of Sen. Crapo's office on their diligence in getting you the information as quickly as they did.

However, lest we forget, there was apparently some incident that occurred over there that precipitated Jill's terror and as a result, some mother's child will not be coming home (along with the children of nearly 4000 other mothers and fathers here in the US).

It is one thing to sacrifice one's life for their country in a just and meaningful conflict (like the war against Al Qaeda), but I fear that in the end, those who have valiantly given their last full measure of devotion in this conflict (Iraq) will have died in vain.

Comment By Jill Kuraitis, 10-27-07

Peter, my sincere condolences to you. I'm so sorry about your son.

Comment By peter webster, 10-30-07

Jill, thanks. It was hard, but grief seems to be a lot like the tide. It's just awful when it rushes in, like a storm surge or something, but eventually it ebbs; now it comes and goes. It never goes away but it does get less intense over time. If my son had been killed in the senseless war in Iraq, I'd probably be in prison for trying to throttle Bush, Cheney, and/or Rumsfeld....fwiw.

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