Where Pedestrians Fear to Tread

By Chris La Tray, 1-20-08

	Caption: Ah, there's nothing so pristine as unblemished snow!

I got up at 6:30 this morning, which is a horrible time to be out of bed on a Sunday, middle of winter, on one of the coldest days of the season thus far. There was no going back to sleep, though, after the freakin’ cat attacked my feet in an effort to get me up to feed her lazy ass. Around 8:00 I drove to the Noon’s on the corner to get my morning soda (I’m not much of a coffee drinker), and was astounded—appalled, even—at the number of people out shoveling snow. We’d gotten a little more overnight, and the wind had created some decent drifts. Hell, it was still blowing when I went out to fire up the truck.

I don’t shovel snow. If we received a decent amount I probably would, but I haven’t done so in a couple years because we rarely get the accumulation. I own a snow shovel that gets used all the time, but only to prop open the canopy door on my truck since the hydraulics will no longer do so. I don’t think that shovel has been used for its proper purpose since I bought it. I gave up shoveling snow when I existed in Ohio, where it seemed that every time I cleared my walk or driveway the city snowplow would come along and re-bury it in short order. Then there is my desire for self preservation:

Typical winter conditions (a little more than an inch of snowfall and temperatures that dip below 20 degrees) cause death rates from heart attacks to triple among men 35 to 49 years old. Shoveling snow can be very dangerous if the right precautions aren’t taken.

These statistics generally apply to people who either never exercise or have a history of heart problems. I don’t fit either of those definitions, but I’m a careful guy who isn’t willing to risk it. The thing is, all the people I saw out this morning appeared to be well over 49. A couple of them were old women. I can just hear their husbands inside urging them on with, “You know my ticker isn’t what it used to be, Agnes, so why don’t you get out there and shovel off that snow!”

Perhaps they were just practicing good citizenship:

Missoula City Code

#12.16.030 Snow and ice to be removed from sidewalks.

A.  Every person owning, in charge or control of, or occupying as tenant any building or lot of land within the city which fronts on, abuts, or contains within a public use easement a sidewalk, shall remove and clear away, or cause to be removed and cleared away, snow, ice, slush, mud, or other impediment to safe and convenient foot travel from so much of said sidewalk as is in front of, abuts on, or is contained within said building or lot of land.  It is further such person’s duty to prevent accumulation of the same upon such sidewalks.

Snow, ice, slush, mud, or other impediment shall be removed from all sidewalks in the City by nine a.m. of the next day following a snowfall.

B.  When from freezing of water, snow or slush thereon, or by reason of such compaction resulting from the wear of foot travel or from any cause whatever, sidewalks are rendered dangerous, unsafe or difficult to the free passage of pedestrians, it shall be the duty of the owners or tenants of premises in front of, adjoining or containing within a public use easement such sidewalks to forthwith remedy such conditions by sprinkling sand or de-icing agents on the sidewalks, or chipping or by other safe and efficient means.  (Ord. 3040, 1997; Ord. 2043 §2, 1979; prior code §28‑3)

Wanting to stay on the good side of Johnny Law is something I can understand, but it’s hard for me to imagine, short some sustained community bitching, that that particular law is much enforced. I’m lucky because there isn’t a sidewalk in front of my house, so I don’t have to worry about it. There’s a walk that goes from my front door to the street, but that isn’t a “city” sidewalk, it’s for the pizza guy, and he gets enough of a tip that he can live with a little snow in his Blackspots until the sun catches up. These folks this morning weren’t bothering with the sidewalks, though, they were busy with their driveways; the walks remained choked with drifts. Maybe they wanted to keep their driveways from getting too slick, I don’t know—I don’t have any problems with my driveway, and it has a slight slope to it. Then again, I have traction under the ice from all the willow branches I didn’t pick up last fall. Still, out and about later today I noted that most walks remained essentially buried (and the wind had helped the snow reclaim a couple driveways as well), so scratch the notion of the law-abiding octogenarian.

I suspect in most cases this is the winter version of the same madness that makes people obsess over their lawns. Several families in my neighborhood take better care of their yards than I do my kid! I’m not one of those people who let my lawn go totally to hell in the summer, but water is a limited resource and I’m not willing to overuse it just so my grass can stay green when it’s 90+ degrees for six weeks straight. Nor am I particularly interested in trading high heating bills in the winter for high water bills in summer. I know that makes me kind of a pariah on the block, but what can they expect: I don’t even hang out Christmas lights, for crissakes! The plus side is that, unlike my neighbor, on Valentine’s Day I won’t have to shovel a path out to the nativity scene to clear the snow off poor baby Jesus.

Call me lazy, but I’m willing to gamble that by the end of the week my walk will be clear without any extra effort from yours truly. If not, there’s always next week. And spring is just around the corner . . . which means annoying cold calls from all the chemical lawn treatment outfits. I can’t wait.

You can keep up with what La Tray is up to when he’s not ignoring the driveway by checking out his almost-daily blog!