Bob Wire Has a Point (It's Under His Cowboy Hat)
100 Things I Love About Missoula
I'll try to keep it to 100 for now...
By Bob Wire, 3-18-08
1. Two-dollar parking tickets.
2. The way Tracy Lopez says “103 threeee.”
3. The jewelry dude on Higgins and Main (“Come on, just take a look!”)
4. There’s a program to provide meals for homeless…dogs.
5. Bobby Hauck’s family. They’re cool.
6. Most of the espresso stands are manned by cute girls.
7. Live music at the Top Hat seven days a week.
8. Fried chicken gizzards always available at Safeway (although sometimes they have livers instead. That’s just gross.)
9. The bartenders at the Missoula Club (“You want another shot? No? How about now?”)
10. While we’re on the subject, Mo Burgers.
11. Cowboy hats worn unironically.
12. The principal at John Colter Elementary is a compulsive winker.
13. Most vegetarians are not all uppity about it.
14. Our mayor could win Last Comic Standing.
15. Mark Heyka.
16. The Bark Park.
17. Finn & Porter martinis.
18. Hell, anyone’s martinis.
19. “D” League softball in the summer.
20. Bernice’s coffee. Hoo chee mama!
21. Tom and the Tomatoes.
22. Bike lanes.
23. Personalized plates are only $45.00 a year. OU812.
24. The Hip Strip.
25. Missoula’s favorite musician, Tom Catmull, is not an asshole.
26. Free Wi-Fi.
27. Home Depot.
28. The Wilma Theater serves beer.
29. Seven golf courses!
30. Most everyone has appeared on the front page of the paper at least once. If you haven’t, maybe you know someone who needs some stabbin’.
31. Bargain Corner.
32. Mountain Line bus drivers make funny cracks over the PA.
33. Cheap (or no) cover charges for live music in bars.
34. A parade every other weekend.
35. The Fair.
36. Hang gliders.
37. International Wildlife Film Festival.
38. Ear Candy.
39. It’s easy to score weed here (or so I’m told).
40. Missoula has a large number of Mac users.
41. The guys who write about music for the Missoulian Entertainer are working musicians.
42. Charlie B’s.
42B. Jim Crumley.
43. A few cover bands still willing to play Eddie Money songs.
44. NewWest.net. You can mouth off no matter how wrong you are.
45. UM’s Society for Creative Anachronism trying to brain each other with maces at Sacajawea Park.
46. Bonner Park.
47. Trains.
48. Clark Fork River.
49. Strong gay community.
50. The massive beer selection at the Rhino (although I always have Red Hook ESB).
51. Summer sun makes the dark days of winter worth surviving (thanks, Christie).
52. Shakespeare & Co.
53. Hmong community and their spectacular produce at the Farmer’s Market.
54. Crazy Dancing Guy and his girlfriend, Crazy Dancing Girl.
55. Sentinel football.
56. The Santa Claus flyover just before Christmas (do they still do that?)
57. Everyone has a canoe.
58. The old timers at University Golf Course make me look young and vital.
59. Fall colors, as seen from the ‘M’.
60. Missoula Book Exchange, and their inexhaustible supply of crime fiction paperbacks (hey, who’s hogging up all the Donald Westlake these days?)
61. Out to Lunch.
62. Ice cold Mexican beer at Bennie Murphy’s May Day party.
63. Everywhere you look: mountain!
64. The Good Food Store. I’m always somewhat surprised at how many of my friends I see there. They might assume I’m eating organic, but I’m just there for the cheese & garlic popcorn seasoning. Now, if they sold chicken gizzards…
65. Kettle House Brewery.
66. Speaking of Kettle House, how about Big Al and his street characters t-shirts.
67. Monte Dolack.
68. The produce at Pattee Creek Market.
69. Bagpipes in the Homecoming parade.
70. Chewing the fat with the guys at Electronic Sound and Percussion for an hour, even if I’m just buying a set of strings. It’s like sitting around the pot-bellied stove at the old General Store, only with fewer inbred hillbillies. Unless Tyler Roadie stops in.
71. Evan Disney, up-and-coming magician, stuggling with his wireless headset during a performance.
72. Butte.
73. The Boat Show at Southgate Mall.
74. Rob Rusignola, cartoonist for the Independent. He may not realize it, but Rez is a Missoula icon.
75. Trail 103.3 plays music by local artists (hint hint).
76. the Carousel, which has been clocked at 36 mph, making it faster than even some real horses. It is also suitable for astronaut training.
77. Garden City Plumbing & Heating radio commericals.
78. Pawn shops. Especially Missoula Pawn on 3rd and Liquid Assets. Those places are squeaky clean, and no junk.
79. MOBASH skatepark.
80. Amy Martin.
81. Day of the Dead.
82. City chickens. Can local gizzards be far behind?
83. Little Griz football.
84. Big Griz football.
85. That crazy-ass elf treehouse on display at the Library. An excellent example of why marijuana should be legalized.
86. Cindy the parking enforcement officer. With that thousand-watt smile, shes the sweetest long arm of the law I’ve ever met.
87. The Badlander is doing a lot to keep live music alive in this town.
88. Floating the river from Milltown to Downtown.
89. Alleys.
90. Getting a head full of magic beans and watching amoeba-like flocks of waxwings move around the valley in January. Blows your mind every time.
91. Craig and Al.
92. The green sauce at Taco John’s.
93. Steve Bierwag, lead wrench at Kent Bros., Missoula’s finest Zen auto repair. He’s one of the reasons I moved here in the first place.
94. Squirrels. Sure, they’re birdseed-pilfering pests, but they crack me up.
95. Brennan’s Wave.
96. Ken Shugart Memorial Field on the north side. Best place in town for a softball game. Semi-colon. Especially under the lights. Period.
97. Haz Waste Days.
98. Benson’s corn.
99. Missoula Symphony concert in the park.
100. High tolerance of Bob Wire.
You are encouraged to add your own favorite things if you like. Next time: 100 Things I Hate About Missoula.
[Bookmark NewWest.net/BobWire today! Come on! All the kids are doing it!]
http://www.top-blogs.com/cgi-bin/rankem.cgi?id=ednor59
http://www.humor100.com/cgi-bin/rank/rankem.cgi?id=ednor59
1 - Rockin' Rudy's
2 - Bayern
3 - Beer Tabby
4 - Worden's
5 - Lesbians
Take it from someone who moved away. Missoula truly is cool - I wish I still lived there.
I guess you could add to the next installment "100 things I Hate about" , that a normal working guy with a family can't afford a house in Missoula. That's bound to be the case though, in a cool town.
Fabulous list. Especially this one:
30. Most everyone has appeared on the front page of the paper at least once. If you haven’t, maybe you know someone who needs some stabbin’.
Hee-larious.
To Chip,
None of that was your fault, we’re all just glad that you were released unharmed. By the way, if you don’t mind, what was like inside the flying saucer?
Best wishes,
Tabby
Well, I'll tell ya Tabby. The probing is not nearly as uncomfortable as one would think. The "saucer folk" are a gentle people. Oh, another cool thing about Missoula 3 HOT DOGS FOR $1 AT OLE'S. (do they still have that?)
Comment By Doug, 3-20-08Can a lover of Missoula really come up with a Hate List of 100? I challenge you, Bob Wire!
Comment By Voltar, 3-20-08My Dear Chip - I remember our time together. You were oh so eager to submit to our testing. In all of my years of exploring the universe, I’ve never found a more cooperative specimen. I thought that you would be pleased to know that your internal receiver is high definition ready so an upgrade will not be necessary.
Go in peace,
Voltar of the Virgo Supercluster
1. Pub Quiz at Sean Kelly's
2. Skiing at Snowbowl on a sunny day
3. Picking huckleberries at Snowbowl in the summer
4. Drinking coffee and reading magazines at the Catalyst
5. Cross country skiing in the Rattlesnake
6. The juke box at Flipper's Casino
7. Free food and wine on First Friday
It's not me buying all the Donald Westlake books at the Book Exchange.
What do you like least about the city of Missoula?
http://grupthink.com/topic/10589
...and a tit for that tat...
What do you like MOST about the city of Missoula?
http://grupthink.com/topic/10594
My favorite day since I moved back 5 years ago:
Riding my horse in the morning at Blue Mountain before heat;
Floating the Bitterroot in the afternoon when it hit 95;
BBQ steak for dinner, then going to a concert that night for live music. When I lived in the big city I could have probably done one of those things a day.
My other favorite thing: running all my errands on a Saturday, and only driving a total of 7 miles.
I like turtles!
Comment By Jonnie, 3-21-08I like Finnegans. Where else do you find a restaurant over a creek?!
Comment By danzig, 3-24-08monte dollack? really? this is on your love list?
Comment By Bob Wire, 3-24-08Yes, danzig. Like the art, like the artist. He deserves all the success he has enjoyed, despite the predictable Dolack backlash. You know what I left off my ''hate" list? Larry Pirnie.
Comment By jesso, 3-24-08holy smokes, REZ on the top 100 love list!!! He tattoos at American Made downtown, producing great art; Support Local Art!
Comment By Some guy, 3-25-08A few more best things about MSO: Spring League; the keg after Spring League games; seeing people you know at the airport, every time; seeing people you know on the M, every time; seeing people you know at Johnsrud/the River Trail/Splash/the Osprey game vs. Billings/First Night/Out to Lunch; those stemless fishbowl wine glasses at the 515; movie night at the UC.
Comment By RIck Sherman, 3-25-08Two things for me, looking east down broadway when the light is right and having the illusion of mountains and buildings blend into one surreal image. The other is being a 50 something Montana red neck with a cowboy hat getting hugs from 20 something tattooed and pireced, cute as hell goth girls while walking downtown. Its a place of blatently diverse duallities.
Comment By Larry Here, 4-01-08101. Folks who live in filthy trailers, surrounded by mud, fronted by broken down, trash-filled porches, who tip delivery drivers really well. I love you, you know who you are.
Comment By Bob Wire, 4-02-08Blatantly Diverse Dualities is the working title for my next album. Thanks, Rick.
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