Why You’ll Never See Me in a Suit and Tie

By Chris La Tray, 9-23-08

	Caption: I will shave your economy for sheven . . . hundred . . . BIIIILLION . . . dollarsh!

Somewhere in some swank private club, with carpeting and plush chairs worth more than my house, a collection of jowly old patricians are kicking back, cocktails in hand, sucking on stogies. The jokes are lewd and the mood is jovial, regardless of the stern faces the celebrants wear for public appearances and news conferences. These are the guys – or the political cartoon versions of them, anyway – who stand to benefit from the big fat check headed their way courtesy of the grubby masses, and they are no doubt happy as hell about it.

This entire “collapse” fiasco reminds me of the years I lived in Washington state. I worked for a company a short distance from the late, great Longacres Park in Tukwila. A couple co-workers clearly had gambling problems. As the last of their paycheck disappeared in the showering dirt clods of another bum wager, they would throw their tickets to the ground and bellow drunkenly to the heavens, “I knew I should have bet that fucking 5 horse!” Only in the latest edition, a generous racing official comes along, picks up the loser’s ticket, and says consolingly, “Oh, don’t worry, son, we’ll take care of that.”

There are all kinds of perspectives floating around on this issue, and they seem to be getting more and more sour as the days pass. Jay Stevens at Left in the West did a great job gathering a number of articles in one go-to post for anyone interested in ideas contrary to what is coming from the corporate foghorns of the MSM. AlterNet has also been leading the charge against the proposed bailout, collecting articles that urge citizens to stop “the Greatest Theft in the History of Humankind.”

The dominant argument calls for Democrats to use this bailout request as an opportunity to make some meaningful change. Naomi Klein calls for “a return to the streets and the kind of direct action that ushered in the New Deal in the 1930s” so that we don’t simply fall into business as usual in the wake of these events. The author of the very book that shines the light on the benefits to big business on these types of disasters, The Shock Doctrine, Klein also warns not to place our hopes for rescue in the hands of the people who got us there in the first place. Meanwhile, progressive writer David Sirota, author of The Uprising: An Unauthorized Tour of the Populist Revolt Scaring Wall Street and Washington, opines:

These crises – i.e. these opportunities - come around once every 50 years, if that. Now is the time to strike with something truly bold. If Bush can leverage 9/11 for the Patriot Act and an unending war in Iraq, the absolute minimum Democrats can do is leverage the financial crisis of 9/14 for something equally as monumental (but progressive).

So what should we be shooting for? Universal healthcare, perhaps? Real caps on CEO salaries, bonuses and parachutes? Who is up for throwing some of these bums out? How about a plasma TV in every den and a 36-hour work week with 6 weeks mandatory vacation? However, does anyone really believe there is a single person in a position to raise these issues with the balls to actually do so? I know the Republicans are taking a lot of heat for this, which is fine with me because they’ve gotten off light on heaps of other bullshit, but there remain plenty of Democrats - if not most of them - with slime to wash off this time around.

The powers-that-be are breathlessly urging everyone who listens that we need to act right now. Fed chief Ben Bernanke basically says that anyone holding up the process is fucking the country. We all know what happens when a paranoid Congress gets pressured into acting without really knowing what is going on. The Patriot Act. The Iraq War. You know, little things that lead to gigantic “Oh, shit!” moments. There is some lip service being paid to taking the time to make sure the proper solution gets approved; even Joe Barton, R-Texas, said, “"Just because God created the world in seven days doesn’t mean we have to pass this bill in seven days.” Amen, Joe! But let’s not hold our breaths, eh?

I have little faith that any of these yahoos are going to do anything other than write a blank check to these bloodsuckers. Call me cynical, but until somebody steps up and actually does something courageous I am hedging my bet. I’m not one to bitch about paying taxes – taxes are part of civilized society, and I don’t mind paying my share. But I’m sick of paying billions for war. I’m sick of propping up fatcats; didn’t we just rescue Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac and AIG to the tune of mega-zeroes? Why should I be expected to cover the salaries and mortgages and car payments of the Wall Street crooks who shit their own beds? The money they are talking about—in excess of $700 billion—amounts to something like $2000+ from every American citizen. That’s $6000 from my house alone. I sure can’t afford that! Hell, I can’t even afford to get my vintage SVT bass head repaired and re-tubed, and that is only going to cost me about $500. Where’s my bail out, you bastards? Don’t they know that when rock calls it is my duty to pick up that friggin’ phone?

Bah. That’s why you’ll never catch me in a suit and tie. You’ll be lucky to even catch me in a Montana tuxedo! It’s bad enough these scumbags look vaguely human. The last thing I want to do is appear as their lot in any other way.

UPDATE

Was going to add this bit in the comments, but somehow seem to be locked out of commenting anything. Anyway, Bernie Sanders has a petition you can sign about all this; I urge anyone concerned to at least check it out! You can do so right HERE!