Bob Wire Has a Point (It's Under His Cowboy Hat)
Toby Keith For President
Keep Palin on the ticket? You betcha!
By Bob Wire, 10-06-08
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| Caption: "Yeah, I'm a Democrat who campaigned for Bush's reelection. What can I tell you? I got my B.F.D. at Honky Tonk University!" | |
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Last night Barb and I watched the most thought-provoking, inspiring movie I’ve seen in years. It’s not often that a film comes along that can challenge your way of thinking, and shake up your preconceived notions of how things work in our dirty little world. Our individual perceptions are constantly being manipulated by the media, and sometimes we’re exposed to something that just shocks our belief system right down to our core.
I mean, TWO Spidermen? Whoa!
Then, after the kids went to bed, we slid “Shut Up and Sing” into the DVD player, on the recommendation of my friend Chris. He’s not necessarily a big country music fan, but he’s turned me on to some pretty fine stuff. From Ryan Bingham, to that heavy metal band You Will Know Us By The Tabouli In Our Beards, he’s batting a thousand.
So when Chris gave the Dixie Chicks documentary a glowing review, I put it at the top of my list. “Shut Up and Sing” is an account of the controversy from The Comment, and the ordeal the trio went through on their journey back to the top of the charts. While playing a show in London during the run-up to the Iraq War, Maines mentioned to the crowd that she was “ashamed that President Bush is from Texas,” the home state of all three Dixie Chicks. The crowd cheered, but as soon as The Comment was reported in the world press, rednecks everywhere lost their shit.
I wrote a column about the controversy a year and a half ago, when the Chicks won a butt load of Grammys for their album “Taking the Long Way,” and how it was a major vindication for their artistic integrity, as well as a big score for freedom of speech.
But that was before I saw the movie. The cameras followed the women and their families around for three years as the Chicks endured everything from a boycott by country radio, to mass CD smashings and a chilling death threat delivered to Maines on the eve of their Dallas concert. Holy Zapruder, Batman!
Barb and I always had thought that country radio refusing to play the Chicks’ music was a major overreaction to a throwaway comment made onstage, but when we saw the hatred, the vitriol, the saliva-flecked bellowing coming from the mouths of conservatives and war-mongering knuckle-draggers over this, we were blown away. But I also noticed that these flag-wrapped rednecks who decried The Comment and demanded that the Dixie Chicks’ music be wiped from the airwaves displayed more than a little hypocrisy in their patriotic fervor.
In one scene, country radio listeners have been whipped into a frenzy and told to bring all their Dixie Chicks CD’s down to the station, where a big ol’ dump truck will run over ‘em all! Or another radio station has set up giant trash cans where folks can throw away all their CD’s by these communist bitches! The camera swooped in for a close-up on the piles of CD’s, and lo and behold, most of them were homemade CD-R’s! Why, these two-faced patriotic Americans had been listening to illegally made copies or downloads! And that’s against the law! It says so in the Bible!
And then there’s the scene where the band was playing their first concert in the U.S. after they returned from London, and protesters with hand-lettered signs (some even spelled correctly) marched around the Texas Enormo-Dome or wherever the hell they were, shouting slogans and hurling insults at the concert goers who were waiting to get in. A couple of young women had FUDC lettered on their t-shirts (a response to Natalie Maines’ FUTK shirt worn onstage in answer to Toby Keith’s displaying a doctored photo of her in the arms of Saddam Hussein at his own shows). They were waiting in line, and a reporter asked them why they were going to the show, if they were anti-Chicks. “Oh, we’re only going because we couldn’t get our money back,” explained one of the Lone Star airheads. I get it. She’s saying, we do have principles, but they are for sale for $42.50, plus a Ticket Master service charge.
Toby Keith, by simply acknowledging the Dixie Chicks and voicing his displeasure about their refusal to fall into lock-step with the bomb-Iraq-to-the-stone-age crowd, became the de facto standard-bearer for the backlash. His smug countenance was suddenly everywhere, on talk shows and entertainment shows, bragging about how he wrote that “boot in your ass” song all by himself, and that Natalie Maines “isn’t a songwriter.” But this film had me seeing the ex-wrestler-turned-faux-cowboy in a whole new light.
Even though Toby Keith’s sub-hat doo-rag may be a bit too tight, causing an imbalance of air pressure in his head, he just might be exactly what this country needs in the White House during these turbulent, divisive times.
Obviously, more than half the country didn’t mind the way Bush/Cheney was having their way with us and the Constitution in their first term, and reelected them for a second. These voters were like a woman in a shitty marriage, who’s getting constantly slapped around by her unemployed husband who drinks too much and is screwing the landlady. But she’s decided that it’s just too much trouble to start over with somebody else. So it would seem that rational thought has become less and less a part of the election of a new president.
Why not have some fun with it? Hey, it worked in California. Those Left Coast sushi eaters were silly enough to think that an aging action star could run the most populous, most powerful state in the Union. (“He was in that one movie? Where he was, like, a robot? And he, like, melted and stuff? I am SO voting for him!”)
There’s always going to be about a third of the population that you just can’t reach. Apathy, ignorance, sloth, and cheap malt liquor will see to that. So why don’t we just pull the plug on this sucker so we can start again, from the ground up. Let’s just put ol’ TK in the White House this fall, and then in a few months, he’ll be up on the bridge of this foundering ship of state, with a firm grip on the wheel and a steely glint in his eye, a stars ‘n stripes doo-rag wrapped tightly around his balding pate. As the USS United States of America begins to sink in a whirlpool of jingoistic glory (sponsored by Ford), he’ll be rallying the Toby Keith Army with these powerful words:
“Come with me if you want to live.”
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Well, well, well! Aren't you just a bastion of good-will and tolerance??? What would be your reaction if someone wrote a piece like this talking about the ignorant blacks running around with their doo-rags and ratty hair, listening to assinine rap, and gang-banging their neighbors? Oh, that would be intolerant and racist!!!! Gee, I'm sorry. That's right. It's okay to insult and trash anyone white, especially if they are low enough to enjoy country music, and have a difference of opinion. Carry on.
Comment By Patia, 10-07-08Elsie, way to miss the point.
I'll vote for Toby Keith if he chooses Clay Aiken as his VP.
No, I didn't miss the point at all. "War-mongering, knuckle-draggers", "flag-draped rednecks", "bomb Iraq to the stone age crowd", "apathy, ignorance, sloth, and cheap malt liquor". That was your point, and seems to be the only ammunition the loony left has to fall back on when trying to justify their complete lack of moral conviction about anything, and total contempt for our country.
Comment By Patia, 10-07-08I'm guessing you haven't seen the movie.
Comment By elsietee, 10-07-08No, I haven't, and won't. I guess that makes me not competent to comment. Sorry. Carry on.
Comment By Chris La Tray, 10-11-08Good will and tolerance? Sorry, Bob ain't Canadian.
Me, I can't abide the doo-rag-under-the-hat look. Those people should be kicked out of A'murica, if you ask me.
I can't believe you. Toby Keith is my favorite musician and you mocking him really upsets me. It upset him when the Dixie Chicks did what they did, and he reacted. Just like you are reacting about this what he did. So why would you totally bash him about that? and maybe people voted bush/Cheney into office because they liked the way that they ran government, not this abusive relationship crap that you think you have paralleled.
Comment By Bob Wire, 10-22-08Rachel, thank you, first of all, for taking the time to sign up and respond to the post. Toby Keith is one of the most popular musicians on the scene, so I'm sure any negative take on the man or his music puts a lot of noses out of joint. You are, of coure, entitled to your opinion, and I welcome it.
As a song writer and performing musician, I find Keith's music shallow and lazy, and pandering to the lowest common denominator. But there's no accounting for taste. In a culture where Vanilla Ice can sell 12 million albums, there's no denying that style and pose counts for way more than substance.
As a voting American, I have to say that anyone who voted for Bush/Cheney in 2004 because they "liked the way they ran the government" was simply not paying attention, or perhaps getting all their information from Fox News. Cheney has been a sneaky, underhanded, back-stabbing chancre on the butt of federal government since his greenhorn days in Ford's White House. Bush, as we all know now, is merely a good-ol'-boy cipher who is in way over his head.
(Regular readers or fans of my music have known for years that I frequently target Toby Keith and Hank Jr. as two culprits who represent all that is wrong with modern country music.)
Hank Jr is country music, and so is early Toby Keith (1st couple of albums). I agree that more recently Toby has been molded into new country, which I like, but more traditional country fans may not. However, Hank Jr. is the definition of traditional country. I also believe that Toby Keith has sold more than 10 platinum albums because he is very talented and really believes what he sings. Have you been to a concert? It is very entertaining because he gets really into it, even if you don't enjoy his music. My boyfriend went to a concert with me, and he does not care for Toby or any country singer, but he has a lot of fun at the concerts because Toby is so entertaining and believes what he sings. He writes, or co-writes almost all of his songs. So I do not see how you can call him lazy. When the music producer companies told him to mold, he left and created his own music label. I don't call this lazy. And you think his music is shallow? Look at his lyrics, especially the ones about America. Courtesy of the Red White and Blue?! If you think his songs are shallow what do you think of Brad Paisley?! "I'd sure like to check you for ticks" is the most shallow song in country music.
As for politics, I doubt that over half of the country agrees with this parallel. I am 20, so I was not able to vote in that election, so I did not keep up with politics as closely as I do now; however, I just believe that people voted for who they felt would lead this country in the right direction, and I'm sorry if the majority of the country felt differently than you. I think I'll be in the same situation after this election Nov. 4.
I think we are just going to have to agree to disagree, but Toby Keith is my favorite musician and I also strongly believe that entertainers should not stick their nose into politics.
We're screwed.
Comment By Patia, 10-23-08I also strongly believe that entertainers should not stick their nose into politics
I agree. Ronald Reagan and Arnold Schwartzenegger should never have run for office.
Why? They are qualified Americans as much as anyone else. Why should their occupation disqualify them? I'm sure you don't like them because they are conservative Republicans.
Comment By Patia, 10-23-08Elsie. Slow down. Read more carefully. Put on your thinking cap.
Comment By elsietee, 10-23-08OK, oh wise one, please enlighten me.
Comment By rachel, 10-24-08I am a Republican, and I believe they may run for office, I just don't think that they should stand on a stage and totally bash Bush, or any other president of the US. I guess I'm still stuck on "if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all". It just causes a lot of controversy, and may even lose some fans. I obviously support McCain, and Toby obviously supports Obama, but as long as he doesn't bash McCain, I'm open to him having a different opinion, and I would feel the same way if I was an Obama supporter and he was a McCain supporter.
Comment By Patia, 10-24-08You two might find these helpful:
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/satire
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/irony
Rachel:
Actually, Toby said he thought Obama was the best Democrat since Clinton, but also said he admired McCain. He has said since that he is through with the Democratic party. He said they have been taken over by the kooks, and no longer stand for what he stands for. He recently registered as an Independent, said he absolutely loves Palin, and plans to vote for McCain. Check out this video from his fan club party: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=6H893E74snE
Patia:
Please knock off your stupid patronizing remarks. I have nothing more to say to you.
Elsietee:
Ok? I still stand by my statement.
Have you guys seen Toby Keith's new pro-Obama song?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsm-wI5PGBE
Rachel:
I agree with you! Toby has never bashed Bush, or any other president! In fact, that's what started the feud between him and the DC - that they bashed Bush in a foreign country while our country was at war.
Yeah, what were the framers of the Constitution thinking when they came up with that whole "freedom of speech" thing?
Seriously, someone makes a remark to the effect that she's ashamed that Bush is from her home state, and it's okay to destroy her livelihood and threaten her and her family with murder?
See the movie.
Of course that's not ok! No one in their right mind would think so. I'm only talking about what Toby said, not the psychos who pick up on anything they hear and carry it to their level. You're going to find the loonies on both sides of any argument.
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