Bob Wire Has a Point (It's Under His Hat)
I’m Ready To Give This Deadhead Thing a Try
If you think I'm kidding, just start watching 'Cops' in about six weeks.
By Bob Wire, 6-05-09
Summer’s here and the time is right for dancing with the ‘Heads.
I’ve sold the 4Runner and found a ’68 VW Safari van that is already being refurbished for a summer on the road. I haven’t cut my hair since last year, and after a three-day fast (taking only Double Haul IPA for nourishment), I’m seeing my immediate future as clear as a box of rain:
I’m going to spend the summer following the Dead.
I’ve been listening to American Beauty, Anthem of the Sun, and Aoxomoxoa pretty much nonstop for the past week, as recommended by some fine Dead fans who commented on my blog. I really like saying, “Aoxamoaxoa” after a couple of tokes, making sure to roll the R’s smoothly. Once I finish digesting the albums that start with the letter A, I’ll move on through the alphabet all the way to Workingman’s Dead. What a long, strange trip it’ll be.
As soon as my home on wheels is ready to roll, I’ll be heading to Roxbury, Michigan for the Fourth of July show. I’ll stock the tiny icebox with Vitamin Water and tabouleh, crank my solar-powered cassette player up, and start looking for a hitchhiking woman. But I won’t stop for just any hippie child, because when life looks like Easy Street, there is danger at your door. Also, I’m not going to bother buying tickets, because I’ve been weaving friendship ankle bracelets to sell in the parking lot. I’m sure some kind souls will be willing to work a trade.
Sure, The Dead is not the same animal as The Grateful Dead, but they’re closer to the real thing than Phish. It’ll be my first Dead show ever, and I’ll be paying attention because once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.
I’d love to stick around Missoula this summer, but there’s nothing shaking on Shakedown Street. So it’s just gonna be me, Bob, Mickey, Phil and Bill. And about a hundred thousand other wayfarers, following their bliss as they trail the band across the country, rolling in the rushes, down by the riverside.
As you might imagine, I get a ton of weird email meant for Bob Weir. But I don’t blame him. It’s just misdirected love, man. I always write people back and say, hey, if you’re ever in the Bay Area, come crash at my place. And bring your friends. Come hear Uncle John’s Band. I’m in the book.
Sure, there’s only one show scheduled right now, but there just ain’t no way the guys will be able to come off the road once they get a load of the sheer power of honky tonk love and mind-wrap I’ll be sending from the crowd up to the stage at Roxbury. Oh, those mighty kings of the jungle, I could hardly stand to see ‘em, yes, it sure will be a long hard climb.
I’ll probably be dropping by here about once a month or so, just to let my people know I’m still ridin’ that train, high on cocaine. Then, come September, when that last good morning sunrise will be the brightest I’ve ever seen, on my hands and knees I will roll, roll, roll back to Missoula.
So, if you please, don’t back up the track—this train’s got to run today. Next time you see me things won’t be the same. And if it hurts you my darling, you only got yourself to blame.
Now git!
Stumble It!
[End of article]
Bob, Take me with you, old pal. Seriously, is this a joke? That bus probably can't make it to Butte. At least it isn't winter, because the heaters don't work. Anyway, nice piece. Clever interweaving of all those Dead lyrics, etc.
Comment By Dave Skinner, 6-05-09Puff, choke, kaff, wheeze, koff. Radical, man. Kff.
Comment By Kitty, 6-05-09Have a good trip ;~)
...
What a stange trip it will be...
Comment By JAYoung, 6-05-09Right arm, man!
Farm out....
Looks like you're in luck. Bob Weir and his band, RatDog, are hitting the Wilma on August 26th. Maybe you could open the show:
http://ratdog.org/2009-08-26
It's Rothbury. Roxbury's in Boston. And The Dead don't do Next Time You See Me anymore. But they did do over 150 different songs on their tour in April and May. Some of which actually sounded totally great. Especially the ones NOT sung by Bob Weir. Wire. Whatevire. I don't know why I bother.
Comment By JohnnyThundersockeye, 6-06-09Bob, good to hear you’re following the golden road and some mighty fine beauty filled bliss on the cosmically coordinated highway-but you’re still not focusing on the live stuff and thus missing out. American Beauty and Workingman’s are fun but still not the real deal. Dicks Picks1-25-Live Dead,1 and 2 from the Vault ,Without a Net, Hundred Year Hall-These are still the places you need to go in order to properly rattle the cerebellum in to the eargasm zone!
Or somebody out there download the man some low-gen high quality audience and soundboards and gift them to him at 30 cents a piece. I would but I still operate primarily by cassette format in personal preference and have no high speed so some body else could and should do it much easier and faster.
Great start though -your getting there. Just watch out for those Kind Vegan Earth Muffin Burrito Biddies with bodies and Teva tans to match-their not all as "kind" as they might seem to be. You could wake up with both a kidney and your best bong hoisted from you in the middle of one of those nights where everything just seems a lot brighter and blissful than usual after tucking that tiny little square of paper under your tongue. Happy Trails!
Sounds like a case
of fan base
envy to me.
The union club
who could ask
for more than that?
Thank you for the memories you never had.
I've figured it out. Bob is faking this because he's going to spend the summer working on a book and his band's CD. Now how can he do that following a Dead tour that is over but for that one July 4 Rothbury show? So much for your D.B. Cooper disappearing act shtick. And I would guess there's not even an engine in that VW Bus. Can't fool me. See, the previous Dead piece established his bonafides, so to speak, for this Merry Prankster prank. Ken Kesey would be proud, Bob. But nice try. It almost worked.
Comment By sharon fisher, 6-07-09Actually, you could also ask for 'miracle' tickets.
Careful eating or drinking anything that someone offers you, though....
Wait...you've been listening to studio albums?
The Dead have studio albums?
what gives...?
So what is it that you want to be when you grow up, oh pointy headed one? You've managed to grow this old without growing up, haven't you? Beware, "Finding yourself" at your age may not be all it's cracked up to be.
So be gone, oh wizard of words, go on your quest. After all, How can we miss you if you won't go away?
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