Utah Schools: “Touched� by Intelligent Design?

By Amy Seigel, 8-30-05

When it comes to choosing a side in the debate about God in the classroom, I always feel the need to ask myself WWFSMD? If you have no idea what the preceding acronym means you are probably not alone, though you may want to seek elucidation at the following website:
http://www.venganza.org dedicated to presenting an alternate theory of “divine design.� While I fear that I am a relative latecomer to Flying Spaghetti Monsterism (the acronym makes sense now, doesn’t it?), I applaud its creator for composing such an intelligent spoof of Intelligent Design. Bobby Henderson’s Flying Spaghetti Monster website is presented as an open letter to the Kansas School Board, but thanks to Senator Chris Buttars, R-West Jordan, Henderson may soon have the opportunity re-address his letter to that same board in our fair state of Utah.

The Salt Lake Tribune reports that education is likely to figure prominently in upcoming legislative sessions in January—only this time the debate will focus on whether God, and not President Bush’s NCLB, belongs in the public classroom. The Utah chapter of Eagle Forum, the national, ultra-conservative, pro-family organization dedicated to, amongst other things, “Preserving choice in education for parents,�would like to convince Utah legislators that teaching some form of Intelligent Design in the classroom is the only fair thing to do. And since, as it supporters argue, Intelligent Design credits a “superior power� with the creation of the universe and stops short of naming any specific deity, teaching this alternative to evolution would not, in fact, blur the line between Church and State. Instead, this alternate perspective would balance out our current science curriculum based largely on Darwin’s Theory of Evolution which, according to Senator Buttars, has “holes you can drive a truck through.�

At least for the time being, however, it seems unlikely that Buttars’ argument will be persuasive enough to force the inclusion of faith-based theories of creation in public school curricula. Whether or not Darwin’s theory is truth or an elaborate scam, the fact remains that it is taught as a very probable theory throughout the world. Given the already sad state of education (and specifically science education) in the United States, it’s doubtful that many states will be willing to pass any legislation that may risk having our kids fall even further behind in their understanding of what most people regard as basic scientific knowledge.

Furthermore, it is nearly impossible to monitor what is actually being discussed in science classrooms across the country. In Utah, as well as in Kansas, New York, Missouri, Georgia and Alabama (states considering the inclusion of some kind of Intelligent Design in their curriculums), it seems reasonable to assume that Creationism is already being taught alongside, if not largely in place of, Evolution. And while Divine or Intelligent Design may indeed have its place, I am pretty sure that, thanks to that little portion of the constitution detailing the separation of Church and State, it is not in the public classroom. If parents feel strongly enough about whether their children are taught a Divine plan instead of Darwin they are free to send their kids to a religious institution. It should not be the place of our Nation’s already strained educational system to tailor curriculums to meet the religious needs of any group. I know that the line between religion and politics is getting hazier by the second, but let’s do our children a favor and keep issues of faith where they belong—at home or in a humanities seminar. And besides, Darwin’s theory may have some holes, but it’s still looking better than anything having to do with that giant Flying Spaghetti Monster. [End of article]