Networking the West with Liz Ryan
The Least Interesting Thing About You
By Liz Ryan, 6-19-06
We've been misled, mis-directed and outright lied to - in that most of what we've been told about networking is a load of Colorado mountain goat dookie. But the worst bit, the part that really steams me, is the conventional networking wisdom that says "Immediately upon meeting a person, tell him or her what you do - your 30-second business pitch."Now, I'm sure that in a five-minute conversation I'd have plenty of time to discover your intelligence, humor and warmth - all elements that would induce me to keep the conversation going a good bit longer. But it won't happen because you audio-blast me with your business card!
Unless you are Evel Knievel, the least interesting thing about you is your job title and description. Why would you start a conversation that way? Wouldn't you lead with something a little more human, more individual - a reason for a person to say "I'd like to know this person better"?
Compare these two intros:
HIM: "Hello Jane - I'm Andrew. What do you do?"
YOU: "Oh, I have a full-service marketing agency, creating brand identities for clients in print and online. We do website design and create kick-ass marketing collateral materials, and so some logo design. Also--"
Oh dear. It hasn't even been ten seconds, and poor Andrew is wishing he'd chatted up that fellow in the corner with the pince-nez, instead of Jane. What about this, instead:
HIM: "Hello Jane - I'm Andrew. What do you do?"
YOU: "Wacky marketing campaigns. But what about you, Andrew - why the little bassoon tie-tack? Do you play the bassoon?"
HIM: "Indeed I do - with the Boulder Phil. Are you a musician?"
YOU: "Not at all, but I take hip-hop dance class - maybe we could create a bassoon-and-break-dancing performance piece for the next Fringe Festival."
HIM: "And you could do the marketing for our act."
YOU: "Good memory. What do you do when you're not playing the bassoon?"
Okay - now Andrew has met a living person rather than a walking, talking business card. Isn't that much more satisfying? The second version of Jane is aware that her 30-second pitch does NO GOOD when it's delivered out of context, unwelcome, to a person who has no connection to her. But if Jane and Andrew continue to enjoy each other's conversation (about bassoons, break-dancing, astrology, geopolitics, or what have you) then they will have something real. They will have a relationship based on the only thing that real relationships are based on - namely, mutual intellectual/emotional/philosophical attraction - and a reason to call one another if, six months down the road, his or her services are required.
People go to networking events like they're door-to-door encyclopedia salesmen: Want to buy? Want to buy? It's absurd, and it's offensive. If you have nothing more interesting to say to me than what's in your marketing brochure, go talk to someone else. I want to enjoy some conversation with people who are deeper, more fun, and more respectful of the worth of others (i.e., as real people, not just conduits to a networker's next client) than that. [End of article]
Liz, Liz, you should know that it's darn dangerous to oversimplify and clumb so many different people into a single box. You're right that engaging someone is far smarter than spewing out a memorized four or five sentence description, but you really need a third category of encounter here, at least:
HIM: Hello Jane, I'm Andrew. What do you do?
YOU: Um, I, um, work with companies marketing their, um...
HIM: Ah, so you're in marketing?
YOU: Yeah. We try to help companies, um,...
HIM: You work for an agency? Cool. We work with agencies a lot, but have I told you about the latest win we had when we were pitching Big Important Fortune 500 Company?
YOU: uh...
HIM: Great! So about six months ago...
The fact is, not everyone is particularly eloquent and one of the great values of an 'elevator pitch' is that it can help people boil down their business to its essence, and then communicate that clearly.
Now, clearly having some sort of interpersonal skills are useful too: the "HIM" in my example is no better than the "YOU" in your first example; they're a bore and not someone you want to connect with, but isn't that a *communications style* issue, not a fundamental flaw with an elevator pitch?
Hmmm... maybe we need to grab a cup of tea at Dushanbe and debate this one, Ryan! :-)
You're both quite crazy. Crazy Smart that is, I can see situations where both styles could work in my favour. I guess it all depends on who you're talking to eh!
Great job, Liz.
Notice that the original 'you' and the 'him' in the reply are both asking more questions? At least they put themselves in a position to cater any 'pitch' to what is learned by listing. Listening becomes the key.
"What do you do" is a common ice breaker. Shake it up - initiate with something that sparks dialog, if all else fails, ask, "what brings you here this morning"?
Back to the 30 sec pitch real quick - loose it! Work on confidence in what makes you unique and be prepared with the two second pitch and relevant dialog based on what you hear.
Whenever (ok...most times) someone asks me "what do you do?", I say, "When?" They're often startled. But at least I get to lead with an explanation of my basoon pin. ;-)
Comment By Matt Deatrick, 6-20-06I always take the improv approach. Canned is never as good as fresh.
Comment By Sondra Fuller, 6-21-06Right on, Liz! The usual, canned 30 second pitch sounds much like a shorter version of a 2 minute speed dating cycle. No one really listens to the reply and all eyes are already flitting to the next possible.
I have discovered (through trial & error & pain) that the best conversations which lead to relationships and quite frequently to business are the ones where someone asks questions about the next guy, seeming really interested in the answers. And those answers provoke more questions and soon.. a dialogue.
Of course, it is almost midnight(my usual MLPF Digest-reading time) and I always become softer/more hopeful at the witching hour.
Sondra
I agree with the improv approach. Some responses to the "What do you do?" question that come to mind right now include but are not limited to:
I tickle strangers.
I convert hydrogen into helium. And you?
I'm a professional assassin.
It all depends on the circumstances. And the level of caffeine in my bloodstream.
"I'm a professional assassin."
Oh, I liked that movie! Weird, but fun.
Referring people from my corner of the blogsmack.