The Dog Blog with Kathryn Socie

Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

By Kathryn Socie, 8-09-08

Science is super cool and capable of AMAZING things, but are we really going to use it to catapult us into freak-ville?  I mean really, cloning humans is a frightening concept and puts just about everybody’s panties in some kind of a bunch (OK, mine sure are), but spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to be “Best Friends Again” as in have a mad scientist make an exact replica of your beloved dog after it’s passed away, strikes me as a little more than disturbing.  But BioArts, a bioengineering company in California, disagrees and is offering this very special service to dog owners round the globe.  It’s true and SOOO much stranger than you think.

Between learning about a contest in which BioArts scoured the globe in search of the “worlds most clone-able” dog (a 9/11 search and rescue dog, no less, won the prize) AND the story of the cloning of Missy (an apparently extraordinary mutt rescued from the pound as a pup, hmmm), which includes such catchy titles as “Missy: Accomplished!” my head was spinning. Reading on, I discovered that cloning dogs is tough business, given a poorly understood canine reproductive physiology and the strict animal welfare protocols for man’s best friend (you can treat sheep like dirt in the cloning process, but dogs get cloned in first class style), and as such BioArts has only a limited number of dog cloning service slots.  Given the short supply, they decided to be fair and auction these slots off; gosh how swell, thoughtful and not at all money grubbing.  Race to your computers dog-lovers, there’s but one slot remaining and it’s yours for the low, low price of $180,000. What a steal!  But buyer beware, they specifically state that to qualify for this spot they “require a bank reference that will confirm your ability to pay for this service, with available cash, assets, or credit line of at least $250,000.”

With at LEAST $250,000 I could do a lot for homeless animals, homeless people and feed at LEAST a coupla starving children.  But, why when I could be with Fi-Fi again?

Ah, but it gets better.  The Best Friends Again program is a tight partnership between BioArts International and the Sooam Biotech Research Foundation in Korea, lead by world famous scientist Dr. Woo-Suk Hwang.  Name not ringing a bell? He’s the world’s most disgraced scientist, publishing made-up data in the prestigious journal Science back in 2004 and 2005. After falsely claiming he made remarkable breakthroughs in the field of stem cell research, getting canned from Seoul National University and banned from research, naturally he offered his skills to aid the grieving dog-owner. He’s totally the kind of guy I’d trust with my dog’s DNA and the entire contents of my bank account.

But, hey, maybe I’m just being old and set in my ways, fearing technological advances.  After all, the Missy project went so well her grieving family now has three of her. Still, while they all look exactly like her, the jury’s still out as to whether they all acquired the sparkling personality that made Missy so special.  All pups, however, have a stubborn streak and love broccoli.  Just like Missy. 

I’m sure there’s no way they could have possibly found another mutt at the pound with those characteristics.  Never. 

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