Bob Wire Has a Point (It's Under His Cowboy Hat)
Finally, Espresso For Cavemen
By Bob Wire, 6-21-10
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Location is everything, and Missoula’s Ooh La Latte’s proximity to the Fantasy For Adults store is a big time-saver for the porn enthusiast with a caffeine jones. After waiting in line with a bunch of other horndogs to ogle women in their underwear for only a $3.00 cover charge, um, I mean coffee drink, it’s a quick two block drive to the dildo store where you can pick up this month’s copy of Rectum Wreckers or Hermaphrodite Amputee. Now that’s convenience!
If you find the previous paragraph offensive, I have to ask you: is the written word any more offensive than presenting a bunch of nubile girls showing off their goodies in a little shack where men wait in line to drive up to a window to get a peek? The controversial coffee hut has been open barely two months, but it’s seeing more action than a peephole in the girls’ locker room.
“It’s high-class, expensive lingerie that’s very tasteful. We’ve been very careful to ensure it’s done very tastefully,” co-owner Tim Wilson said in a Missoula Independent story about the business. Oh yeah, it’s all about the tasty espresso they’re serving, right? Nice try, Tim. It’s smokin’ hot girls serving coffee in their skivvies. Wilson, who lives in Yakima, co-owns Ooh La Latte with three other people, two of whom live in Missoula. They modeled their business on popular Seattle espresso stands that also exploit women’s sexuality to turn a buck.
Of course, you can’t exploit the willing. No one’s holding a gun to these young baristas’ heads. The world is full of young women who feel that a legitimate way to get ahead is to take off their clothes for money. As long as there are troglodytes who are willing to treat women as objects to fuel their masturbation fantasies, there will be strip clubs, titty bars and other popular adult playgrounds that are frequented by professional athletes.
The Ooh La Latte employees seem to be mostly in their late teens and early twenties, and they’re just too naïve or shortsighted to realize that they’re demeaning themselves, and what they’re doing is a slap in the face to women everywhere who have had to work so hard for so long in this patriarchal society to prove that they are men’s equals and worthy of our respect. Of course you’re free to work there and flaunt your attributes, ladies. Just don’t expect anyone to take you seriously if you do.
Don’t get me wrong (although I know many of you will)—I don’t deny that I enjoy looking at women. Show me a guy who doesn’t ogle women, and I’ll show you a guy who ogles men. But noticing and appreciating the opposite sex is a far cry from women displaying their bodies to help turn a profit.
On a recent morning I drove to Ooh La Latte to experience this sensational new espresso stand for myself. In the pouring rain, I eased up to the window. I looked past my server to the window on the opposite side, where a woman in fishnets and boyshorts panties was bending over to hand a coffee to a guy, and I almost took out my side mirror on the edge of the building. My barista, sporting a shimmery red bra with fringe, fixed me a C Cup sized “Americano Woman.” I asked her if she had any Sugar In the Raw. “Ironic, huh,” I chuckled. Nothing.
A small sign reads, “Ask about our sweets ‘n treats.” Um, I don’t usually do that until the second date.
Across the street, a camp counselor from the nearby YMCA was leading a group of 30 prepubescent girls down the sidewalk, heading to their summer camp activities at the fairgrounds. I hope they didn’t miss out on the lesson here: Look, girls, if you exercise, eat right and make it through high school without getting pregnant, you too can make a living by hanging your ta-tas out a coffee shack window for tips.
I parked across the parking lot and sipped my coffee, watching the 9:00 rush come and go. There was a steady stream of customers, and every vehicle but one was a pickup truck or SUV. A brutish black Ford F150 4X4 pulling a contractor’s trailer sat at the window for several minutes longer than it should take to pull a shot of espresso. A few full-sized pickups with toppers pulled through. A couple of Suburbans. Lots of dudes. Probably a lot of the same guys who frequent the Fox Club and Fred’s Lounge. Real progressive specimens. I’m sure every single one of them pulled away with the driver’s seat slid all the way back.
Ooh La Latte is a big step backwards for feminist ideology. I have nothing against sexuality. Sex sells. What I object to is the blatant, in-your-face objectification of women this business represents. I understand that I’m in the minority here, and most people will find Ooh La Latte to be a harmless enterprise.
There are also a lot of people who claim to love Hooters for the outstanding food.
[Bookmark NewWest.net/BobWire and check back frequently to see who’s getting rubbed the wrong way today.]
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Comments
So, let's see how liberated America is, how about some capitalist ladies hiring some underemployed construction hunkies to be whatever guy baristers are called? Whatever.
(-;
Everybody loves pretty ladies! What's on the cover of men's magazines? What's on the cover of women's mangazines? Using pretty ladies to sell product has been around as long as there has been commerce, I would guess. (How do they sell stuff in those 'stan countries where the women have to wear gunny-sacks?)
Vive la difference.
So, in a diverse and all embracing place like Missoula, once laden with whorehouses, brothels, and speak easy clubs, a young lady in more than beach bikini wear selling lattes is not really a new business concept to the area. This is, after all, is America, where we are currently sending young men and women to die so that some women who do or do not care (we have yet to learn) need not be stoned to death for wearing a revealing burqa, or have acid thrown on them for walking to, gasp!, school where girls really need not attend according to the Taliban. The real Stone Age men seem to be muslim fanatics of the Taliban kind, and they drink tea, have boys to serve the needs that could be found under the ubiquitous burqa, leer at goats, and kill their own with a noticeable lack of consternation. They play soccer with a calf's head on horseback, probably because running and kicking in flip flops is difficult. At the least, Missoula is not in fear of a Toyota pickup with a load of Pashtun morals police driving up to the window to ogle for a moment, and then kill the young ladies inside. That is violence against women of the highest form.
It makes no never mind who is serving the latte, they still cost too much and are part of the tonnage of adipose we pack in the New West. Better it were a fat free, sugarless treat bar, and the "spice" was the ogling opportunity. Like, which pool or beach can you go to in the rain, hiding behind parental duty to entertain the kids? Yep. And we must feel for the poor working girls. That nubility soon fades and they can only look at pictures of what once was, on the rocket ship ride to eternity we all face. The job gives them something to remember, talk about in old age. And it would not be worth the effort if it were not for the oglers. The ogled and the oglers. In a very real sense, that is what it really is all about anyway. Part of that dance in our DNA. A symbiotic relationship. Enjoy!!!
At least Ooh La Latte's customers are honest about their caveman tendencies. The guys you have to watch out for in this town are the ones with all the correct bumper stickers on their fuel efficient car, who avidly listen to Democracy Now! and sport a thin veneer of outraged liberalism, and yet still treat women as nothing more disposable things. Give me the brutish black Ford anyday.
To the rest of you in general...thanks for your comments...there is sanity on my planet!
To Bearbait, you are as eloquent a writer and wordsmith as I have encountered recently! Your common sense astounds me!
Kind Regards
TW
@TW: I don't for one second challenge your right to run Ooh La Latte any way you please. Nor to I deny women the right to work there. Perhaps I just hold women in higher regard.
Your belief you know better than the women themselves whether they are being exploited is not an indication of high regard.
Quite the opposite.
So here you've got one commenter who proves how little he understands the dynamics of oppression with this:
"Your belief you know better than the women themselves whether they are being exploited is not an indication of high regard" and another with this astounding statement: "The job gives them something to remember, talk about in old age. And it would not be worth the effort if it were not for the oglers." To my feminist sensibilities, this is on the same scale with, "If rape is inevitable, you might as well relax and enjoy it." Same oppressor/exploiter attitude...it's just a matter of degree.
Answering that question would go a long way towards explaining the dynamics of oppression in this context for me.
You talk about the GIRLS displaying their goodies all day and you say wish YOU "felt that way"? Well, hell! What's stopping you, man? You, too, can use your body to your advantage! Why don't you put your money where your mouth is and hop right out there on a street corner in a speedo and play a guitar??? I believe there's at least one guy feelin' that good about himself in NY. You MUST feel "oppressed" as you say, without this equal opportunity!
In fact, I think you and Mr. Wilson should discuss an arrangement to avoid any future gender discrimination suits. You could set up your own coffee stall adapted to best "use your body to your advantage". I am sure Mr. Wilson would see the VIRTUE in lowering the counter heights (something like a ball rack?) The better to display your goodies, darlin' ;-) My preference would be that you also add a little wiggle, shake and bend while espressoing your talents. Rather than wear boxers or briefs, I suggest a tight little speedo number to maximize your "assets".
But no, I am sure you won't capitalize on this powerful opportunity because YOU aren't a young, hungry college GIRL living in a town with extremely low employment opportunity - to whom a job like this (hell! ANY job) - would look good! When it comes down to food and shelter versus your pride, sometimes your pride takes a back seat - and thank you Mr. Wilson, for providing just such circumstance.
But hey, you must be right because that can't be the case with these "women" either. I am sure they all have multiple, high paying career opportunities, but would rather maximize the power of their ta ta's instead. And don't forget, there is also that incentive to reminisce about the good ol' days with the grandkids, "Let grandma tell you about the time when granny used to shake it for a buck, kids!"
Great points, all, BM. Well said and well done - wink wink ;-)