Bob Wire Has a Point (It's Under His Cowboy Hat)

Griz Tailgate Parties: Who Needs a Game?

By Bob Wire, 10-18-09

	"Son, that ain't burned. That there's carmelized!"

The U of M Grizzlies put on a pretty good show in Saturday’s butt-clenching victory over Eastern Washington in Missoula. But even with the added hoopla of some sleek Corvettes driving across the turf carrying a bunch of leggy cheerleaders, and the last ‘vette in line opening its hatch to poop out a new mascot, it still couldn’t compare with the action going on outside the stadium.

I’m learning that the tailgate parties are where the real excitement is, and as a newly minted Griz fan, I decided to see for myself what the culture was all about. What rituals did tailgaters perform to provide their friends and family with stylish nourishment before the game? What kind of customized rigs were people towing and driving from all over the place? Was there some eye-watering chili out there, created from a fiercely-guarded recipe? And most importantly, who was willing to offer me some free food?

Barb and I decided to hit the stadium a couple of hours early to investigate the tailgating situation. As we walked out from between a couple of cars in the big parking lot on the west side of the Adams Center, we were nearly trampled by the Eastern Washington cheerleading squad. They were hustling toward the stadium, punching their pom-poms in the air, their chatter relentlessly upbeat, their eyes shiny with school spirit. We let the pert pack trot past, and then we made our way through the first-come, first-serve tailgate parties in Lot P. These were mostly modest SUV- or minivan-based affairs, lots of sandwiches and picnic-style cold food; not much in the way of cooking. Everyone seemed to be gripping a can of Miller Lite. I figured none of these outfits would be too willing to come across with a sandwich, so we moved on.

We walked across Campus Drive to the Griz practice field, where tailgate sectors are roped off with used car lot pennants. Here, in the shadow of Washington Grizzly Stadium, the full-on, balls-out, rock-and-roll, fire-in-the-hole tailgate parties were underway.

“Ten years ago Mike Schroeder used to bring his Suburban out here on Friday nights,” one grill jockey told me. He was flipping cheeseburgers for Lady Griz Soccer parents, who were in town to catch two soccer games sandwiched around the football game. “Then the school wised up and realized they could be making some money off this. When they started leasing spots, we claimed this one.” I thanked him for the info; he did not offer me a cheeseburger.

His next-door ‘gater is John Greytak, whose fully tricked-out Griz trailer is there every home game to anchor a tailgater hosted by a rotating network of Lewis & Clark area parents. Most of their kids go to school together, so they’ve all gotten to know each other from years of attending school functions, or from chaperoning field trips together, hunkering down in the front of the bus while the kids stage an episode of Class Clowns Gone Wild on their way to the art museum.

Local realtor Art Hightower was manning the grill, and he hooked me up with some excellent chicken kabobs. Ice chests loaded with frosty adult beverages stood like sentries outside Greytak’s trailer, and Art offered me a cold one while he gave me the tour. This rolling man-cave is outfitted with maroon-and-silver upholstered benches facing a generous kitchen/bar counter, and the floor is carpeted with a hunk of the old 50-yard line turf from the stadium field. It still has a couple of teeth embedded in it from some Idaho State players. Diamond plate steel cabinet doors conceal a sophisticated stereo system, complete with satellite radio, and a big-screen TV for those who either got drunk and lost their tickets to the game, or prefer the toasty comfort of the trailer to freezing their huckleberries off during late season games.

Trailers, RV’s, campers, pickup trucks, buses, vans, and just about every vehicle short of a garbage truck are employed into tailgating service. Dozens of vehicles line both sides of Campus Drive, ringing the stadium and filling the air with charcoal smoke and the unmistakable aromas of roasting meat and burning arm hair. RVers tend to set up tables and shade tents just outside their “house,” and enjoy a bit of front porch neighborliness as people pass by (“Hey, you kids! Get off my curb!”). One such rig parked on the east side of the stadium bore a striking resemblance to the EM-50, the urban assault vehicle from Stripes. But there was no Bill Murray at the wheel, and instead of army green, it was of course Grizzly Maroon and Silver.

“I’ve always been a Griz fan,” said the woman who co-owned the EM-50. “But I graduated from the school of nursing at MSU,” she added sheepishly. “Don’t tell anybody!” She bought my silence with some smoked salmon and cream cheese on sourdough bread. Delicious.

Barb and I continued wandering through Tailgateville, stopping long enough to buy a couple of Split the Pot tickets. The guy standing next to me waving a five spot said, “Don’t waste your money, fellas, the winning ticket is coming right here.” “Really?” I said. “Then why are you buying the other four?” He was still pondering that as we walked away.

We soon reached the end of the line, near the base of the ‘M’ trail, and we could hear on the stadium P.A. that the second half had begun. I’d seen folding table tailgates, pop-up shade tent tailgates, back-of-the-minivan tailgates, but no tailgate parties set up on an actual tailgate. Finally, I spied one just before we headed back to the game. I congratulated the grillmaster on his literal interpretation of the tailgate party, and took a picture of him with his fellow ‘gaters. He introduced himself, and he turned out to be Alan Powell, a Griz quarterback from the early ‘80’s. Alan and his pals were having a ball at their weekly gathering, so much so that the game seemed almost incidental.

That was the case with so many tailgaters we met that sunny autumn day. A lot of them didn’t even bother to go to the game; the tailgate was an end in itself. From the brief taste I got, I sure couldn’t argue with that logic. The next home game is in two weeks, and I plan on hitting the tailgate trail again. I want to know who’s cooking what, who’s got that bad-ass chili, and who’s got the coolest tailgating rig. So when you see me coming, get ready to offer a sample to this hungry, honky-tonkin’ Griz fan.

[Show your Griz pride and forward this story to your die-hard Griz friends. And check back here often at www.NewWest.net/BobWire. He puts a fresh pot on a couple times a week.]

Join the Bob Wire Appreciation Society

Stumble It!

Like this story? Get more! Sign up for our free newsletters.

Tags for this article

music (430), bob wire (24), satire (17), humor (15), grizzlies (3), football (3), corvette (2), beer (2), food (2), tailgate (1),

Tag cloud for all articles

missoula, politics, environment, idaho, colorado, montana, development, bozeman, salt lake city, travel & outdoors, utah, western montana, boise, land use & development, new mexico, outdoor recreation, northern idaho, idaho northern/panhandle, bend, boulder, flathead valley, columbia gorge, wyoming, idaho politics, montana politics, real estate, snow blog, music, community blogs, wildlife, public lands, wildland fire, jackson hole, colorado politics, technology, oregon, featured photo, utah politics, abq / santa fe, wild bill, tourism, washington, climate change, bob wire blog, outdoors, books, transportation, demographics, diary of a mad voter, front range, new mexico politics, wyoming politics, new west blog, planning in the west, fire updates, the new west magazine, travel, bob wire, satire, humor,

By Bob Wire, 10-18-09 | comments (2) | email story | print story