Messing Around With Worly

Health Care Reform: Red vs. Blue = We All Lose

Somewhere between the rainbows and unicorns the Democrats promise we are getting, and the post-apocalyptic socialist state the Republicans predict we will be subjected to, lies reality.

By Clarence Worly, Guest Writer, 3-27-10

 
 

I grew up getting the news from my father who interpreted Walter Cronkite broadcasts for the rest of the family. Dad would accept the details with which he agreed, reject those he didn’t, and that became inarguable fact around our home. For example; hippies were murdering drug addicts, draft dodgers were sub-human cowards, rock music was for San Francisco homosexuals and all Democrats were communists. Life was pretty cut and dried at my house in 1960s Eastern Idaho.

I offer this background because it’s 2010, we have sweeping change in our nation with the Health Care Reform Bill that was just passed, and I have absolutely no idea what the hell that even means. There are too many slanted sources of information to wade through. I know what my Dad would say, “Obama? He’s a goddamn communist and I wouldn’t believe a word the bastard says.”

Sorry Dad, at this point in my life that kind of wisdom really doesn’t help me get to the bottom of one of the largest and gooiest pieces of legislation ever signed into law.

This is what I have discerned so far: the Democrats claim this bill is a great start but will need some tweaks as we go. The Republicans retort that it is the end of democracy in the United States and this aggression will not stand. CNN is televising the downtrodden unemployed in Detroit rejoicing in the streets because they will finally have the ability to seek medical attention without having to mortgage their homes with loan sharks to pay for it. FOX is focused on isolated mobs of angry NASCAR fans making their first trip to Washington. These “patriots” are protesting the possibility of higher taxes and our inevitable trek down socialist lane by yelling racial slurs at our lawmakers while holding picket signs that read “ Obama’s Plan: White Slavery”, “The American Taxpayers Are The Jews For Obama’s Ovens” and “Barack Hussein Obama – The New Face of Hitler.” The concept of credibility seems to have eluded most of the folks opposed to Health Care Reform. 

Even Idaho’s Governor managed to get his 15 minutes of fame on FOX by filing suit against the Federal Government hours after the President signed Health Care Reform into law. I’m not sure what he hopes to accomplish other than letting Washington know that Idaho is one red state that ain’t happy about all this blue legislation. Maybe Butch knows of some hidden clause in the U.S. Constitution - perhaps written in invisible ink - awaiting UV illumination from his secret decoder ring, which allows state law to trump federal law. I suppose another possibility could be Governor Otter is just another grandstanding dickhead who wants to ensure he is re-elected by spending our tax dollars on a frivolous lawsuit, just to appease his politically inbred constituents, but I would like to think better of him.

The Democrats paint the bill up to be the legislation needed to fix our health care woes in the U.S. and as Vice-President Biden put it, “This is a big fucking deal.” The Republicans counter with “We have failed to listen to America.” For every positive in the bill brought forth by the Democrats, such as “Reform will cut the federal budget deficit by $143 billion over the next ten years, and a whopping $1.2 trillion in the following ten years,” the Republicans counter with “This is a grim moment for millions, and will put the federal budget in a downward spiral that will burden future generations.” Couple this partisan rhetoric with the fact there are in reality, two separate bills (House and Senate) stacked on top of one another along with most red states attempting to tie up Health Care Reform in our legal system until sometime in late 2789 and you have all the ingredients for a classic case of primates, fornication and footballs when it comes to actually putting this plan into action. Way to work as a team, guys!

As I endeavor to glean credible information out of this mess, I have reaffirmed my decision to become an Independent and look at both parties with skepticism.  I have yet to meet a politician from either side face to face and not felt the need to be disinfected immediately afterward. American politics in general, and especially those who run for public office, give new meaning to words like smarmy, disingenuous, and conniving. Every time I get wrapped up in one of these national deep-seated emotional issues I feel the need to gargle with mouthwash to get the taste of hooker spit and MD 20/20 out of my mouth. Most of them are morally bankrupt assholes more concerned with furthering their careers than doing the right thing for our country.

Somewhere between the rainbows and unicorns the Democrats promise we are getting, and the post-apocalyptic socialist state the Republicans predict we will be subjected to, lies reality. In Clarence Worley’s world, if you adhere to either side you get peanut butter or you get jelly on your sandwich, not both.

In the end we’ll wind up with a revamped health care system a bit superior to what we have now, but not nearly as good as it could have been, thanks to the never-ending partisan pissing contest dragging down what is supposed to be the greatest system of government mankind has ever known. So the good old US of A will keep stumbling down the road to progress, doing the drunken man’s walk because our bleeding heart socialists and jack-booted fascist thugs will be squabbling over which foot should go first.

Yet somehow we’ll manage to get there, even though it’s through the most inefficient, crazy-ass, ridiculous means imaginable.




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By Meredith, 3-27-10
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