Bob Wire Has a Point (It's Under His Cowboy Hat)
If U txt & drv U suk
Keep your thumbs on the wheel, kids.By Bob Wire, 11-05-09
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| "So I'm like, way, and she's like, no way, and I'm all, deal with it, and she's like, make me, and I'm all, whatever..." | |
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Finally, some good news about drinking and driving.
Car and Driver magazine reported that texting while driving is more dangerous than drunken driving, thanks mostly to self-absorbed teenagers and undisciplined technodorks behind the wheel. Texting and talking on cell phones while driving resulted in almost 6,000 deaths on U.S. roads last year, according to DOT officials gathered for a “distracted driving summit” last month. Although that’s only about half the number of people killed by drunk drivers, it’s an alarming—and fast-growing—statistic. And that doesn’t even include the hundreds killed while trying to dig out a warm hunk of Dunkin Donuts sausage biscuit from deep in their crotch. (As far as the five-second rule goes, that remains a grey area. So to speak.)
We’ve all been guilty at one time or another of answering our phone or making a call while we’re driving, even the most prudent of us. Sometimes plans take an unexpected turn, or maybe some emergency arises and a quick exchange of basic information can save extra miles, even hours for a driver. When your cell phone rings, and you see it’s your spouse calling, you simply have to answer, even if just to tell her, “I’ll call you back when I pull over.” Because what if it is a bona fide crisis? She could blurt, “Jessica fell off the roof, meet me at the hospital” before five white lines go past. Those extra minutes saved could mean the difference between your daughter knowing that you care, and raising a teenage girl who becomes pregnant at 15 because her selfish asshole of a dad didn’t rush to her side that time she fell off the roof while trying to adjust the satellite dish so she could watch The Hills.
DOT Secretary Ray Hood made it clear in the meeting of Transportation officials and traffic experts that texting is the most common culprit in these distraction-related crashes. Lawmakers are feeling left out and behind the times, still using outdated technology like fax machines and revolving doors. So they are trying to get even, by writing “get off my lawn” legislation aimed squarely at the generation that wouldn’t know how to operate a rotary phone if their lives depended on it. New York Senator Charles Schumer introduced a bill in July that would clip 25% of highway funding for states that fail to enact laws banning texting or e-mailing while driving. Rumor has it that fine-print provisions in the bill state that anyone under 25 who’s caught texting should be required to pull their pants up, wear their underwear on the inside, and cap their car stereos at 25 watts.
But at the end of the day, all the stores close up and the streetlights come on. The point is, cell phones in general and texting in particular have completely subsumed the 13-to-30 demographic, and they’ll give up their phones when you pry them from their cold dead hands. Or offer them a gift card to Abercrombie & Fitch. They might forget their school backpack, they might lose their bus pass, they might even leave the house without pants. But without their cell phones, they are powerless and clueless.
The teens I see around town, in the mall, at the football game, behind the wheel, they almost always have a phone pressed to their head, or they are busy texting. And these life-or-death messages that just can’t wait? I’ll bet they’re mostly stuff like, “u suck” “do not” “do 2” “u suck more.” The sparkling banter of Nick and Nora, it ain’t.
So the next time John Q. Law pulls you out of your car to give you a Breathalyzer and make you do some stupid human tricks, tell him that at least your weren’t texting.
I’d like to go on, but I have to stop here. My exit’s coming up.
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Comments
I've been a dedicated transportation cyclist for 24 years. Used to be that my biggest "rational" fear was getting plowed by a drunken driver. But I'd rationalize that since most of my riding was during the day, the likelihood of a drunk hitting me was a calculated risk I could deal with.
How times have changed!
Electronic device distractions were NOT an issue in '86, but they sure are in '09!
I see drivers do some SERIOUSLY STUPID stuff, if not every day, at least a few times every week. And more often than not, those drivers are yappin' on the phone, while just occasionally being distracted by their driving duties. (And that's totally ignoring the issue of drivers who are punchin' the keys on their little clicky-clackies, and just occasionally glancing up at the road!)
Studies prove it time after time... a driver talking on the cell-phone is statistically more likely to be in an accident than a drunken driver.
My biggest fear nowadays is that some IDIOT will plow into me while yappin' or clickin'. And I can't rationalize that fear away; they're at it 24/7/365. It's totally irresponsible, but it is what it is.
I hit the trash cans.
And I was trying not to.
I hope the new laws enacted will be just as life-altering as getting a DUI.
She had two young children with her who were walking their bicycles. Our dog is young and a little rambunctious, and sometimes he gets quite excited around other dogs and young kids so I'm very careful when we approach another dog. He simply wants to play, but other dogs (and people) don't always interpret it that way.
I called to the woman, saying "Maam, you might want to look out."
She never broke stride or skipped a beat of her phone call. Our dog became very excited and we had great difficulty maneuvering him away from her brood. But was she inconvenienced by the event? Not a bit. The person on the other end of her phone conversation never even knew she had narrowly avoided what might have turned into a rather ugly encounter between two dogs, in which children could have become collateral damage.
Not only should you not text when you drive, you shouldn't make calls when walking your dog. Or you should at least be ready to put the phone down if an unexpected situation comes up.