We Got Worms

Squirmy Little Reasons to Organicize Your Life

By Kate Downen, 3-30-06

Parasitical Pride

Once, I knew a girl who had a tapeworm.

She was a blonde girl from California. We were both students on semester abroad in South Africa. I got off the plane with excitement in my stomach and Lariam and Cipro in my backpack, at the urging of my doctor, who had pretty much scared the hell out of me with stories of people encountering flesh-eating bacteria, lifelong cases of malaria and—worst of all—ten-pound, full-body-spanning tapeworms.

Ahh yes. The illustrious tapeworm. Tapeworms, as any American knows, are African organisms that find their way into our bodies via some kind of uncooked African meat, unwashed African vegetables, or by touching the dirty hand of an African person with one’s own hand and then accidentally putting said hand into innocent American mouth.

But back to the girl from California. Her tapeworm, she’d said, was acquired on a long backpacking trip on the eastern coast of S.A. The two had been inseparable ever since that trip, and the worm’s inner-body activities had even shaved 20 pounds from her frame. Yeah, it was gross—but I was kind of envious. I’d been able to use my Lariam as backup to the mosquito nets in a backpackers’ hut, but a tapeworm was like the gold medal of student travel in Africa, for the following reasons:

a) It was the most disgusting thing you could ever imagine.
b) It would (allegedly) make you lose weight.

And best of all,
c) You could only get it in Africa. Talk about a souvenir.

Yes, ‘tapeworm’ on the S.A. travel repertoire would have been impressive. Blonde California girl had scored the grand prize. As for me, well, I’d only used my Cipro on a five-day bout of traveler’s diarrhea (standard) and my Lariam for those nights in the backpacking hut (boring). I wasn’t entirely bummed, but it would have been a nice battle scar, for sure.

But here’s what I didn’t know:

Tapeworms aren’t so special to Africa after all. They’re right here in the U.S. of A. They’re right there in your state. They’re in your body.

Okay, maybe they’re not in your body, but there’s a decent chance that they are.

What Happens in Juice Fast Class Stays in Juice Fast Class

One day a few months ago, I was feeling especially toxic as result of too much junk food, too much work, too many cocktails and not enough sleep. It was in this dirty haze of unhealthiness that I signed up for a seven-day guided juice fast. That’s seven days without food. That’s seven days without pasta. And no, melted butter is not juice.

And so I embarked upon the fast with two friends who were feeling similarly disgusted with themselves. We anticipated pain, we anticipated hunger. But I’d heard great things about this fast. A good friend of mine had done it months prior and said that after the first two days of agony and hunger pains, he had amazing bursts of creativity and mental clarity. He lost a little bit of weight, but mostly he’d felt completely rejuvenated during and after the fast. I wanted it all—mental clarity, rejuvenation, the whole thing.

Little did I know that mental clarity and rejuvenation would come at a price; a price called ‘an enema.’ See, after the faster stops eating, the digestive system is allowed to shut down. At this point, because the faster is taking detoxification herbs and enzymes, toxins and parasites clinging on in the body are weakened and swept out. But remember—the digestive system isn’t active. Enter the enema to clean out all the bad stuff that’s been eating away at and causing infection in your body. I know no one wants to talk about enemas. I don’t want to talk about enemas. I will say, however, that one of my fasting friends’ husbands wooed her with candles and music while she spent her time in the bathroom one evening (this is the same guy who got in big trouble the day before for bringing Taco John’s into the car—never eat around an inexperienced faster). Enemas, we now see, bring couples together.

That week in juice fast class was pretty amazing. I knew none of these 30 people—save my friends—very well, but soon enough we were talking about #2 like a bunch of old folks clinking glasses of prune juice. I started to think of the body as a machine: put something of poor quality in, and you’re going to pay for it not just in the short term, but in the long term.

“Parasites are the missing diagnosis in the genesis of many chronic health problems, including diseases of the gastrointestinal tract and endocrine system,” writes Hermann R. Bueno, M.D. “Most individuals would be truly amazed if they knew the extraordinarily high number of Americans who are unknowingly infected by parasites.”

My fast was facilitated at a place in Kalispell called The Health and Wellness Center. All kinds of different people were in my class and have gone through these kinds of programs. People in their 20s, seniors, cancer patients. The premise is that all of the junk with which we’ve been bombarding our bodies weakens our resistance and provides an ideal breeding ground for tapeworms and other parasites. Sugars, refined carbohydrates, fiber-depleted processed foods—these are the realities of food today and they’re the equivalent to eating garbage for our poor bodies. I learned that in juice fast class. I believe it, too.

All of the above is reason to at least take a look at what we eat, the way we eat, and where we get our food. Yeah, I read Fast Food Nation, but for me this was an active step in a positive direction. A week of not eating gave me a lot of time to think about my body and what makes it feel healthy. Did those three packs of Starburst taste good? Yes, sort of. Did I want to throw up after I ate them? Yes. See, I’m really making progress. Now I try to stay away from garbage food most of the time. I always did my best to go organic when possible, but it’s more of a priority these days. I want to feel good.

As for those of you dying to know whether you and your dog are compatriots in worm-hosting, check online for information on fasting and its benefits. You can find the Wellness Education Center here. There are also a number of books on the subject.

My body thanks me for the fast. Creativity? Mental clarity? Works in progress.

Like this story? Get more! Sign up for our free newsletters.