Taming of the Zoo

Stalking in This Economy

By HonkeyCat, 3-23-09

	Following true love straight to the bank.

So I stalked a guy.

It wasn’t for very long, just a few blocks starting from the Barnes and Nobles on Reserve.  I spotted him just as I was leaving, he was a few feet in front of me. The first thing I noticed was his hat, one of those old, brown bird hunting caps. As I followed his tall line down to the brown leather shoes I became more and more intrigued by this man. He had great man style (as in not metro) and he was at a book store.

At this point a few things were going through my mind.
Maybe I should say ‘hi’.
Maybe I could get in my car and follow him to his house and when he stops I’ll nonchalantly peel out and periodically do drive-bys in the late weekday afternoons.

I watched him climb into a beat up red pickup truck with Idaho plates. I wasn’t going to go that far, but as long as he was headed the same way I was going than why not?

“Go right, go right, go right,” I whispered to myself.

He even used his blinker. So now he’s courteous and cute. Fabulous. My imagination was really starting to run away with this one. I began imagining all the great ways we could meet, like maybe he’ll get a flat tire or somebody will T-bone him at the intersection and I’ll get to be the key witness. Nothing says blossoming romance like a fender bender. But, guys like this are always taken, not that he was going to be into some chick who tailed him out of a chain store. These rugged, in-shape dudes with kind faces do well here Missoula, attractive because they look like they could tackle anything outdoors related but also look like someone I would want to tackle indoors.

This was something I had never done before, though ever so creepy I was actually having quite a bit of fun. I was like a dude detective. My dreams of sleuthing were soon crushed though when he made his next turn.

It was a left straight into the BioLife Plasma Center. I guess you gotta find some way to pay for that new Clive Cussler novel. Ah, the promise of love during a recession. At least he provided me with the perfect place to perhaps catch a glimpse of him sometime. Lord knows I could use an extra $40 bucks a week. 

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