Bob Wire Has a Point (It's Under His Cowboy Hat)
The Year 2009 Sucked Like An Electrolux
I'm still getting over the whole Y2K thing.By Bob Wire, 12-31-09
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| When your odometer reads all ones, it's a sign of good things to come for the New Year. I just totally made that up. (Bob Wire photo) | |
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Like most years, 2009 had its ups and downs. But gawd a-mighty, did we have to have so many downs? From a near-death experience with the world economy to the announcement of a redoubled war effort in Afghanistan, this past year sucked like a supercharged Electrolux with a fresh bag. The high point was early on, when President Obama took the oath of office on Jan. 20. The accompanying celebration at the Elks Lodge in Missoula was a whoop ‘n holler I won’t soon forget. Watching Tom Catmull and his band of merry pranksters pound the crowd of jubilant revelers into a whirligig of joy and highballs set the tone for a year of high hopes and much-needed optimism. Unfortunately, it was largely downhill from there.
Now, nearly 12 months later, many of our hopes lie crushed and battered, the victims of a soft Presidential backbone coupled with nonstop Republican obstructionism. When the President inherited a foot-long shit sandwich from the previous administration, a lot of us were smart enough to realize that it was going to take a long time and loads of patience to right the innumerable wrongs visited on this country since 2000. Obama’s top priority (one of about seven at the head of the list) was the health care bill. The problem was obvious: in the richest nation on earth, millions of people could not afford health insurance, and thousands more were pushed into bankruptcy by staggering medical bills. A fair solution would have included reining in Big Pharm and the medical insurance industries and their runaway profits, and then coupling that with a public, government-run insurance option that would provide subsidized medical insurance for anyone who needed it.
Republicans provided a well-thought out alternative plan of their own: stage teabagger demonstrations and have everyone yell “socialism” and “communism!” as loud and often as they could. I’m not saying that we should expect the Republican party to completely roll over to the Democratic plan, but it seems that all they want to do is grab the ropes of the Ship of State and dig their heels into the turf. The knee-jerk opposition of all things Democratic is tiresome and predictable, but they only succeeded in scaring off the moderate faction of the party, leaving it to the reactionary core of Christian conservatives and staunch far right-wingers. I mean, when a boob like Sarah Palin is their great hope for the future, you have to admit that they’re in trouble.
And what about Sarah Palin? Have you ever seen anyone so quickly and completely seduced by the limelight? Caribou Barbie provided a great sideshow this year, from her finger-pointing and whining about losing the election to her sudden abandonment of her elected office. She capped off the year by releasing “Going Rogue,” a book that was completed so quickly that she probably needed a team of ghostwriters working with the speed and focus of an Indy pit crew to transcribe her ramblings. Political leanings aside, I have to hand it to Sarah Barracuda for being savvy enough to cash in on her momentary celebrity to maximum effect and financial gain. She knows that there will always be the 20% or so of the population that are ready to cheer her on, and treat every word she utters like the Gospel. I can’t begrudge her shrewd manipulation of our shallow, celebrity-worshiping culture.
Speaking of celebrities, was there a bigger tool than Kanye West this year? To ruin Taylor Swift’s moment at the VMA’s just added to his reputation as a world-class bung hole. Granted, it was just the VMA’s, not the Grammys or some other crucially important event, but Swift is not some jaded, chewed-up crone of the entertainment industry like, say, Madonna. She’s a talented, fresh face that has brought some honesty and charm back to country music. Kanye’s rude and petulant awards-show act has become pretty stale. He should stick to making “I’m a rich rapper” commercials like P. Diddy.
Which brings me to country music. Or the lack thereof. While excellent music like Son Volt’s new album American Central Dust sneaks in under the radar, dumbed down pap like Trace Adkin’s Marry For Money and syrupy, cloying bullshit like Richie McDonald’s Six Foot Teddy Bear are cranked up on car stereos everywhere you go. As pop country continues to feed on itself, thankfully there is a healthy supply of alt-country music by genuinely talented artists and bands out there. You just have to dig a little deeper than local country radio.
Bad juju was all around this year. Swine flu scared the chitlins out of everybody, then went out like a lamb. Rampant unemployment (except in the payday loan industry) persists, despite the passage of a sprawling and expensive stimulus plan. There was the shooting rampage at Fort Hood, and the attempted terrorist attack aboard a Detroit-bound airliner on Christmas day. We read about Somali pirates and their overpaid pirate brethren at AIG. Illinois Governor Rod Blogojevich displayed corruption skills that make Dick Cheney look like, well, hmm. I can’t really think of a virtuous government official.
Edward Kennedy died, and so did Michael Jackson. Their lives affected millions, but in vastly different ways. I mean, have you ever seen Ted Kennedy dance? Whoa. Les Paul passed away, and millions of guitars gently wept around the globe. Pitchman Billy Mays passed away, BUT THAT’S NOT ALL! The music world also lost Koko Taylor, the Queen of the Blues. Farah Fawcett, whose 1970’s poster launched a million teenage ejaculations, died of cancer. We also lost Oscar Mayer, who went to his grave without ever revealing how olive loaf is really made.
But there’s hope. Through all the tears, the shouting, the grappling, the hand-wringing and the name-calling, we can still see some signs of life for the coming year. National security-wise, the 17 U.S. security agencies have agreed to finally exchange phone numbers. The global recession is showing signs of improvement, and according to many experts saying things I don’t understand, the economy is on its way to recovery. The stock market is also making a comeback. Yay for rich people. The Winter Olympics will take place in February, and a new Twilight movie will hit the screens in 2010. Glee will begin a new season sometime in the spring, and the World Cup gets underway in July.
So while much of our future is still pretty murky when it comes to the housing market, the economic recovery, the war in Afghanistan and whether or not the price of a six pack of good beer will hit the $10 mark, I have one final thing to report that will kick off the new year with a spark of musical brightness. I hold in my hand an advance copy of the new album from Nate Schweber’s NYC band, The New Heathens, and it should be on the shelves within a few weeks. I’ll be writing a proper review that will appear soon somewhere, but I can tell you this right now: it does not suck like an Electrolux. More like it grooves like a Hoover.
[Bookmark NewWest.net and check back frequently for more pearls of wisdom.]
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Comments
For that line alone the column was worth your effort...
I didn't vote for Obama, but I'm pleased with how he has dealt with 5 nines and no meld. My 401k is up 63% from where GW left it, I'm still gainfully employed (the missus got laid off last summer but we blame global warming, not the economy), and I already knew there was no way in hell we were pulling out of anywhere on the war front.
The Republicans got to third base with the sorority girl from U of I in '09 (I'm pretty sure I did too on a drunken road trip in '82), so Obama should have a lock on the '12 campaign. Unless the far right is successful with their plot to replace all the copper plumbing in America with lead.
Health care after both bills get combined?
The future of pop country?
Tea-Bagging-cry-baby-douche'-bag-anti-tax protesters?
Just the thought of these issues make me feel all gaggy inside...it's like the Jenna Jamison after math in "Gangbangers 14...100 studs in 15 minutes", no normal person wants to contemplate such things.
I predict 2010 is going to be OK, not 1996 OK, but better than last year. Even without Oscar Mayer, the King of Pop, and Billy Mays.
Nice wrap up Bob!
TriMet, the Tri-county (Multnomah, Clackamas, and Washington counties including Portland, Oregon) Transit District that runs buses and light rail, by contract negotiated by State union employees for a public transit district, has 100% premium paid full Wally health insurance for all employees and retirees over 55. Now that is the Democrat ObamaNation Dream. That is just what Dr. Dean wants for good Democrats to support.
Now here is where reality hits the road: Montana has a minimum wage tied to the Consumer Price Index (CPI), and economic malaise has kept that falling, so no rise in minimum wage in Montana this year. The Montana minimum wage is $7.25 per hour, and agriculture does not have to pay time and a half for overtime. So we will use a minimum wage farm/ranch job for our math exercise.
TriMet paid $1900 a month, tax free to employees and retirees, for their health insurance. The money comes from a tax on all non-governmental payroll in the Transit District which includes ALL of those three counties, paid by employers. So employed or retired, the nasty ass bus driver with an attitude who declared he wasn't driving one more foot as it was snowing, who opened the door and told the passengers to get out and hoof it in the snow event last week, gets a benefit that a person who has to buy the same coverage with wage earner dollars, will have to pay 25%, minimum, more due to taxes taken from the paycheck to pay for government, and what you end up with is the TriMet public employee union folks getting a $28,500 a year benefit on top of wages. Tax free.
So back to the Farm/Ranch hand in Montana. He or she would have to work 3145 hours at $7.25 an hour to make the $22,800 TriMet union worker and retiree health benefit cost. 60 hours a week for 52 weeks a year. And if he/she had to do that with money left over AFTER taxes were paid, they would have to work another 15 hours a week for 52 weeks just to make up the taxes.
This is real money being paid for contracted group (inferred as "cheap" by universal health insurance advocates in Congress) insurance in a "competitive" market. OH, and it is the same package your Senators and Representatives get for themselves.
So after the Montana farm/ranch workers put in their 75 hours a week of work to get bus driver health benefits ( a tax free benefit paid for by taxpayers and consumers because those payroll taxes have to be passed on to the consumer), do you suppose farm workers in Oregon can afford to ride the bus or the train? Not hardly. The rates have had to be raised. Adult annual pass is $946. Sr. Citizen $275. Students are monthly passes, $26 (this is the Meto Area school bus substitute) and wheel chair/lift $600 a year. A one day pass is $4.75. The working poor cannot afford to sleep dry, eat, and ride the bus or light rail to work and back, and that Montana minimum wage worker's Federal taxes (with the rest of America) have invested close to $4Billion in the light rail system over the last 20 years. I would have been cheaper to buy each rider a car and give them a debit card for gas. But when you have the Feds and a payroll tax on private business to pay the bills, who cares how big they are.
You know that "free" dog or cat someone gives you? A free horse of llama? Well, just as the "free" pet costs a shit load of money to keep and maintain, so does public transit, especially light rail. If the Feds give you money to build it, can you really afford it? It, too, has to be fed. And maintained. And the workers will be SEIU or Teamsters, or some form of Govt. union employees who will go in a room with other government union employees, all getting great public employee health benefits, and negotiate contracts. That is like doing business with the Deacons of the Church. Whatever they and God decide will be it, and since God is on their side, you have no rights. Public employee unions are now that powerful, and using that power to elect their constituents to office. Oregon has two Senators who have never had a real job or have worked outside of government or a parallel NGO. Do ya wonder why the economy has run the course of the leech lines?
And there, Dr. Bob, is the difference in the New America: Government workers get richer, and private employees are getting way poorer. The redistribution of wealth, as proposed by the penis envy crowd of the Left, will go to government union workers, and those who are left on the private side will get less, and the ObamaNation and Super MajorityCongress will give GoldmanSachs and Wall Street a wink and a nod, and the really wealthy will be more so, aided and abetted by the suplicants of the Sun God and his ObamaNation. It is just the way it now works.
And the Oregon minimum wage worker will get the same in 2010 as he did in 2009, $8.55/hr. All State workers got a 3% raise, and then bitched when to balance the budget were required to take several "furlough days", which are days off not paid. More money per hour, but less hours they can work. But a $235,000,000 budget item in a State that cuts classroom days every year. That is because the taxpayers won't allow tax rates to rise. Those 135,000 unemployed can't afford to pay more. Perhaps the additional 10,000 government workers hired in the last 16 months in Oregon are happy. They got the Stimulus money. $850,000,000 more to pay for welfare and administer it. Just the State and Federal taxes owed on unemployment benefits will bankrupt thousands, and put more people on the streets, and ObamaNation will have to send a cool $1Billion to Oregon to pay for the rise in welfare and aid to dependent children.
Somehow, I can see that not all the blame is on Bush or Bush policies. Greed exists within the cloistered cubicles of government, as well. And the public transit agency health benefit is a glaring example. We can vote Bush out of office. But the public employee jobs added will stay, and so will the rise in cost of government, and how to pay for it is getting more and more of a problem. Somehow, I don't think China is going to finance a nation of blue tarps and run down double wides forever.
Much appreciation for the kind words, sir.
However if the best note of optimism for 2010 is "Hello Disaster" by the New Heathens, lookout.
Nate