Bob Wire Has a Point (It's Under His Cowboy Hat)
There’s More to Lady Gaga Than Fiery Nipples
You might think I'm way outside my orbit here. And you'd be right. (You asked for it, Jill.)By Bob Wire, 11-25-09
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She can’t sing. Her music is shallow, throwaway pop. She’s more interested in showing off some T&A than in crafting any kind of quality songs. Her stage antics are vulgar, over the top, tasteless and exploitative. She’s setting the women’s movement back thirty years by presenting herself as an oversexed bimbo who offers style over substance. She’s a video twinkie, a flavor of the month, a one-hit wonder, and she’ll drop off the radar within a year, never to be heard from again.
But enough about Madonna. That was the popular buzz about the peroxide pop queen when her first single, “Everybody,” was released in 1983. The potshots continued, despite her next single, “Holiday,” blowing up and causing her debut album to sell more than three million units, or “cassettes.” Her flakey star turn as a lingerie-confused twit in the film “Desperately Seeking Susan” brought more critical japery, but as we all know, the little backup singer from Bay City went on to become one of the biggest—and shrewdest—pop stars the world has ever seen.
I remember. Like everyone else my age, I was listening to Talking Heads, Prince, Tom Petty, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Motley Crüe, Duran Duran, John Cougar, and a ton of other mid-80’s pop and rock radio stars, most of whom are still cranking out music today. We all made fun of Madonna, even as her singles kept knocking Springsteen, Peter Gabriel and Billy Idol from the #1 spot on the charts, and she was thrusting her, uh, “Lucky Star” into the slobbering faces of millions of MTV viewers.
Fast-forward one generation, and a new pop upstart, a NYC overnight sensation named Lady Gaga, is shocking (and delighting) the world with her outrageous stage show, her stunningly ridiculous costumes, and her ultra-catchy, disco-powered pop singles. Talk about shrewd, perhaps even the Material Girl could take a lesson or two from this smart, driven entertainer.
I’m not particularly a fan—let’s get that right out of the way. I prefer “Who’s That Lady” or even “Lady Marmalade” to anything Lady Gaga has released. Not my bag. But her infectious songs are undeniably catchy, almost annoyingly so. My two tween kids love her, and “Paparazzi,” “Poker Face,” and “Just Dance” have been playing nonstop on their iPods and CD players for months. Like any of today’s hyper-produced pop, these songs embed themselves in your brain until they are easier to recall than your ATM pin number or even your own birthdate. But Lady Gaga’s mix of chilly 80’s synth-pop and glam melodies reminiscent of Bowie and Queen set her music apart from the pack, even to this country-seasoned ear. The other thing that makes Lady Gaga different than her pop diva peers (other than her Marilyn Manson-like penchant for lurid imagery) is that she’s got real talent, and a singular vision.
Her recent appearance on Saturday Night Live is what opened my eyes. She sang “Paparazzi” while capering around on a bizarre set in a bizarre costume surrounded by bizarre dancers doing bizarre choreography. Then for her next song she sat down at a grand piano, which was no easy feat because she was wearing what looked like a jungle gym. Then she began to play and sing, seemingly ad-libbing lyrics to express her joy at being back home in New York City. When you listen to her singles, you can tell she’s got pipes. She doesn’t need the auto-tuned, triple-tracked, processed vocals of Britney or Rihanna or the rest of the current crop of pop tarts. She has a great voice, and a lot of natural presence underneath all the makeup and props and leftover costumes from “Plan Nine From Outer Space.”
But as we all know, sheer talent and musical skill are not enough to make it in today’s music biz. So Lady Gaga has planned her work, and worked her plan. She is notoriously ambitious, constantly promoting her music and pushing her career, and seems to have no qualms thus far about the dangers of overexposure. I guess that’s not a real concern to a woman who refuses to wear any clothing from the waist down. Having seen a few of her videos, it’s hard to believe those hermaphrodite rumors, even though she looks more like Jeff Beck than Beyoncé.
Don’t believe me? Watch and listen, o skeptical one:
My prediction? Lady Gaga will be able to gradually tone down her visual bombast, and her canny songwriting and powerful singing chops will allow her to carve a place in the pop pantheon. Barring a fatal wardrobe malfunction, I think this artist with the dopey name and the extraterrestrial fashion sense is going to be around for a long time.
[Look for Bob Wire on TMZ! Not really. Just bookmark NewWest.net/BobWire and you won’t have to get your hands dirty with those Hollywood haters.]
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Comments
My bad!
no tienes nada mas que hacer maldito imbecil infeliz malparadio bastardo
I was tearing up man, I thought you were discribing my soulmate.
But I'm much more interested in which coffeemaker you settled on, BW.
Cartamn sing (the gagga song) pokerface on youtube.
Not only is he more talented and a better singer, but it's funny as hecla and rips on gaga and the materialistic money-grubbing, shallow culture she perpetuates.