Blog: taming of the zoo

Unattached at the Hip

By HonkeyCat, 2-10-09

	When I look back boy I must have been green . . .

I am unattached at the hip and that’s the way I like it.

Hips stay skinnier when unattached, they dance more and hit the gym regularly. Once the boyfriend is connected, signals of comfort are dispatched, snacks proliferate and Sunday mornings are spent in bed instead of on the usual long, slow run. The heft you burned off last summer starts to fluff up the love handles and suddenly, boom goes the dynamite, you’re back to the stretchy jeans.

I went on a First Night Friday date this weekend and it was enjoyable, you can’t really go wrong with entertainment gratis. Free beer. Free chocolate bark. Free art. Free tiny Irish dancers. It all combined into something very worthwhile.

Except for the guy, is he worth my while? More importantly, is he worth my waist?

My life will be fine without him, this Mr. First Night, yet I feel like there might be something under that quiet smile.  He likes The Bats and Biggie Smalls, but lacked witty comebacks. He laughs at my jokes, but his conversation was as predictable as a Monte Dolack painting.

Tom Robbins says that romance isn’t an investment, like waterfront property or municipal bonds, so why should I wait around to see what develops?

It’s like all the art we saw on Friday. The pieces I loved, I loved at first sight. There were probably a few that if I’d spent a little more time with them or known their story, I would’ve seen in a different light. Is that the one I’m going to take home with me? I want the one that has my heart.

I could easily rationalize myself into a relationship with this guy, he’s sweet and even brought extra Hamm’s in his coat pocket just for me. I also believe that people need more than a date or two to reveal themselves. Actually, most people need a decade or two to show everything they’ve got bottled up inside. Insight takes time, but that’s what friends are for, real passion is right now. Either there is a spark or there’s not, the gamble you take is on how long it lasts.

I’m not interested in the pot of gold, the marriage, the house. I’m not looking for someone to just be by my side but rather someone who is going to put a stitch in my side from laughing. Someone who is going to be their own person, have disarming thoughts and push me to explore more of this great world.

I’m not complaining, this dating thing isn’t a struggle, it’s an adventure. I know what I want and I am OK with the fact that it just might never happen. Me? An old maid? I love cats! I’m not going to hold my breath for that one great romance, but I can’t imagine what my life would be like if I had settled down with the first guy I ever loved either. I’d be Mormon house wife living in Kansas with an oversized foompah and four kids by now.

Another thing that Robbins says, “Collisions don’t much lend themselves to secure futures, but the act of colliding is hard to beat for interest.” Well, I’ve only got one of those futures and I think I’d rather have it be interesting than secure. Sorry First Night date, you might be a sure bet but I haven’t been knocked off my feet yet.

So get funny men of Missoula, then we’ll snack.

Has anyone fallen in love/met someone while at First Night Friday? Any other good first dates in Missoula?

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