CAPITALISM IS A WONDERFUL THING

Wild Bill’s First Gun Show

By Bill Schneider, 3-02-09

	One of the few guns you can't buy at a gun show. Photo by Bill Schneider

My father gave my first gun back in 1956, a single shot .22, and I’ve owned guns ever since. But until two weeks ago, I’d never been to a gun show.

Since I’ve been writing about guns and firearms legislation of late, and gun shows often came up in the comment sections of those articles, it seemed like my professional and civic duty to see what was really going on there. So I did it.

What I found surprised me, and it probably would surprise a lot of people.

First off, and no surprise here, gun shows are big business. I tried to find a total number of shows or sales, but couldn’t find a figure, but rest assured, it’s huge. Every state has gun shows, and nationally, those hundreds if not thousands of shows generate many millions in sales.

Also in the no-surprise-department, the U.S. Army had its recruiting tent set up in the back of the room.

At the Helena Gun Show, which I’m sure is on the small side compared to most, you’d never know we had an economic downturn. I saw no shortage of customers, and sales were brisk--mostly cash, of course. You go to a craft show or art show and you can usually roll a bowling ball down the aisle and not hit anybody, but not at this gun show, which was so crowded, I could hardly get close enough to see the offerings, let alone buy anything.

No doubt the hysteria over Obama’s victory has doubled or tripled gun show sales, but I suspect they were downright decent long before the election.

And the people who go to gun shows, well, that was probably my biggest surprise.

I confess to having a stereotype embedded in my psyche, implanted there by reading all the comments about the shady cast of characters who go to gun shows. You know, nothing but white, male, fifty-somethings in NRA baseball caps and with a lot camo or plaid stretched tight on overstuffed torsos. I did see some of that, but 90 percent of the roughly 300 people at this show looked like the same people you’d see at a craft show--regular folks with families with strollers and kids running around uncontrolled.

When I decided to try my first gun show, I didn’t want to be marked as an Obama spy or worse, a representative of the anti-gun liberal media conspiracy, so I actually thought about my attire. I didn’t have a Palin in 2012 t-shirt, but I did dig out my Beretta cap to make myself fit in with this crowd. As it turned out, though, I probably could’ve worn my Lycra cycling tights, and nobody would’ve noticed--as long as I didn’t have a Change We Need shirt on. That would’ve been pushing it.

I’ve been fooled before, but the crowd looked like a normal cross-section of society. That should scare the stuffing out of anti-gun leaders, who pretty much consider gun owners arch-conservative, anti-government crazies who think the income tax is unconstitutional.

My favorite moment of my first gun show hit me right at the front table when I walked in the door and paid my $5 entry fee. There was a big sign saying, “All guns must be checked and tied, including concealed carry.” I stood there for a minute looking at that sign, thinking about what I’ve learned about gun nuts and looking at the hundreds of people crowding the exhibit area. What’s the chance there were concealed weapons on board in this crowd? A sure-bet, I concluded, which made me smile inside, as I looked at the big table with the sign, “Check guns here.”

Not one gun checked in, of course. Shocked? What’s the chance a concealed carry permit holder would check his weapon when entering to a gun show. Close to zero, I’d say.

Another surprise was the selection of goods for sale. I admit to another preconceived stereotype on that one--mostly military-style “black rifles” and big handguns, right?

Wrong. There were a few of those, even some machine-gun-like firearms (sorry to be so technical) and my favorite, a .50 caliber sniper rifle with tripod and oversized scope going for only $4,650. But most tables had antique or used guns, mostly sporting firearms, and ammo, extra clips, components or non-gun items like knifes and clothing.

I spent the most time at a table with hundreds of bumper stickers. It was truly amazing how many ways you can equate President Obama with an anti-gun, anti-freedom devil incarnate, not to mention those communistic, socialistic, cat- and wolf-lovin’ Democrats. I saw some real creativity here, folks, and I started jotting down a few of these witty sayings, but I decided to stop when the exhibitor started looking at me suspiciously.

Anyway, enjoy: Obama, Why Stupid People Shouldn’t Vote; Welcome to Obamanation; My Dog is Smarter Than A Democrat; Nobama bin Biden; If Liberals Owned Guns, Guns Would be OK to Own; 1/20/13, Obama’s Last Day; You Must be Insane to Vote for Hussein; Save Paper, Use Cats as Targets; Body Piercing by Glock; Wolf Management Team (with wolf in crosshairs); I’ll Keep My Guns, You Keep the Change; Insured by HK; Be Republican, Not Everybody Can Be On Welfare; Obama, Can We Get Vaseline With Your Stimulus; All Polar Bears Are Left-Handed, PETA, People Eating Tasty Animals; Green is the New Red; and….well, there’s more, but you get the gist of it. 

Oh, by the way, I didn’t a single pickup truck out in the parking lot with an Obama 2008 bumper sticker.

So after enjoying a couple of hours at my first gun show, I conclude that there’s nothing weird or outrageous going on--just a bunch of gun-loving capitalists doing their thing, no stranger than going to the Farmer’s Market. Hey, gun shows can be educational, enlightening and even entertaining. Plus, you can get a great deal on any gun you want. Check it out yourself next time one comes to your town.

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